Dancing with the Devil
by RissaCay
Summary: Snape makes a deal with Slytherin's most popular witch, the beautiful and witty Narcissa Black, after she offers to help him win back Lily Evans. But what's the cost of her assistance? Will the 2 become freinds, or is Snape simply dancing with the Devil?
1. Chapter 1

There was minimal light in the Slytherin common room, making it rather difficult for Severus to read. With great irritation, he leaned closer to the page. He had to sweep his hair behind his ears so that the black strands wouldn't cover the words. Then, with a heavy sigh, he realized he was far too tired to comprehend much of the book anyway. He slammed it shut, creating a loud thud that echoed through out the empty common room.

At least, Severus _thought_ it was an empty common room.

"What is that you're reading, Dear?" asked a sultry voice.

Severus looked up to see a witch standing with her back to the roaring fire place. Her shadow (as curvy and seductive as she was) stretched all the way to where he sat. She slowly approached him, still waiting for an answer.

But Severus had no words to say. Narcissa Black had never talked to him before. She was the temptress of Slytherin. Everyone knew that. She'd toy with boys until they fell hopelessly in love with her. Severus, however, wasn't that dim witted.

"A book. Ever heard of them?" he asked, returning his eyes to the small font of the page.

The sarcastic comment was not enough to make her leave. She simply waltzed her way over, and sat beside him on the emerald green rug.

"_No_," she said, playing along, "I've never seen one of those before in my life."

"Maybe if you pried your eyes away from the mirror…." He smirked. He was confident this would be enough to send her away, but she seemed too persistent.

"Why so bitter?" she asked. Her small hand found his shoulder "Does this have something to do with that Mudblood girl?"

Severus snapped his head upward and glared at her pretty blue eyes.

"I can see this is a delicate subject for you, my dear. It must be hard loosing some one you love, even if she is muggle born."

"How do you know anything about that?" he growled. It didn't seem likely that a girl like Narcissa would keep up with his affairs.

She simply twirled her blonde hair with her free hand, "I do my research, but not _nearly_ as much as you do." The hand on his shoulder slid seductively down his arm, and took hold of his hand. Squeezing tight, she said, "That's why I've come to you."

"What do you want, Narcissa?"

"You've heard, surly, about my older sister?" she asked.

"Bellatrix?" He assumed, while pulling his hand out of her grasp.

"No, no, not Bella. My _other _sister- Andromedia."

"Ah, yes. The quiet one?"

"Yes, her…" she paused before continuing, "She was arranged to be married to a Malfoy, but she ran away with some Bloody Muggleborn, and got herself disowned by the entire Black family."

Severus had heard enough. He stood up, clutching his book to his chest. "Maybe I'm mistaking, but I don't see what any of this has to do with me."

He didn't take more then two steps before Narcissa jumped up and fallowed. "Severus, please, _wait_," she pleaded.

The desperateness in her voice made him pause. He stared at the door to the boy's dormitories, as she walked up behind him.

"With Andromedia out of the family, Mother wants me to marry the Malfoy." There is no sadness in her tone, only anger.

"Then why not run away like your older sister?" he said simply, still not turning around to face her.

"Because I'm not a fool!" she spat.

"Then marry the man!" Severus mocked.

"He's diabolical and crude, and 6 years my senior, I might add."

This had caught his attention, and Severus turned on his heels until they're eyes met. "Are you referring to Lucias?"

"Yes…"

"Out of the question! Lucias is a brilliant wizard, and a decent match, and he's very powerful, too. Only an idiot would cross him!"

Now that he was looking, Severus could see that dark circles of smeared make up surrounded her eyes. Had she been crying?

"Listen. I'm not going to run away, or refuse him. I'm simply looking for a way to turn his attention elsewhere without disgracing my family. I just- I can't figure out how. You're the brightest wizard in this school. _Help me_,Dammit!"

One of Severus's eyebrows rose high on his forehead. "Brightest, you say?"

"Oh, shut it! You already know that!" She snapped.

"I am bright," said Severus openly, "that is exactly why I refuse to lose my favor with the most power pure-blood family there is."

When she spoke next, her voice returned to its sultry tone. "Isn't there anything you want more then your favor with Malfoy? There has to be_ something_ that you desire, other then the Dark Mark."

He shook his head.

"What do you desire, Severus?" She asked, through barely parted lips. Then she went on to say, "you know, you may be brilliant at Occlumency, but your little friend, or should I say, _former_ friend, certainly isn't."

"What- you dare raise a wand to her!" he said, hotly.

But Narcissa only laughed. "I knew it," she suppressed a smile. "I didn't do a thing to the Mudblood. No need to get so… protective."

"Don't toy with me, Narcissa Black!" He was rather upset with her for tricking him, but she went on with little notice.

"I can keep your secret, Snape. I can do a lot of things for you… If you help me, that is."

"I already told you--"

"I can help you get her back," Narcissa said.

Severus eyed the young witch. She was the most popular Slytherin 5th year. If she could improve him…. Well, who's to say that Lily wouldn't accept him again?

And he longed for nothing more then her forgiveness.

"I'll take your hesitation as a yes!" chimed Narcissa happily, "now go to bed, Dear. We have _a lot_ of work to do."

Hours later, Severus turned in his bed, having the most beautiful dream. Lily was there and he was there, and that was enough to make it pleasant. He looked at her. She looked at him. There was little else. Maybe a thin layer of mist around there feet, but that was all.

"Severus?" a beautiful voice whispered. He opened his eyes, realizing that the noise wasn't apart of his dream.

There Narcissa stood, looking down on him.

"How the Hell did you get in here?" he hissed.

"Just get up," she said. Then she threw something light onto his stomach, "and put these on."

She walked out, leaving Severus extremely confused. How had she gotten into the boy's dormitory? What time was it? And what had she thrown onto his bed….

He sat up and rubbed his tired eyes. Then he checked the time with the watch on his beside table. _6:00_ _in the bloody morning?_ He looked down at his sheets; sitting on top was a set of _muggle_ garments.

"What the Hell is this?" He asked Narcissa as he came into the common room.

"I told you I was going to help you, didn't I? Well, then you have to work out, get a muscle other then your brain. Now, put on those work out clothes."

"I have an O.W.L today!" he growled.

"Do you want my help or not?"

"Not!" he said.

She only frowned a bit and then said, "Go change."

Wearily, Severus did as he was told. The garments were simple black shorts and a Slytherin-green T-shirt. They seemed to have never been used, making them the newest muggle clothes he'd ever worn. By his bed, he also found a pair of running shoes. He pulled them on, wondering where Narcissa had gotten any of this stuff.

He returned to the common room to find Narcissa also wearing the ridicules garments. Hers were a deep shade of violet.

"Great, they fit you like a glove," she said.

"I look ludicrous! Where did you get-"

"I sent out my house elves to get them. Now, come on," she said, heading toward the door. Severus followed, as he pictured in his mind an ugly little house elf walking into a sport's shop.

"What, exactly, is your master plan for this morning?" he asked groggily.

"We're going out for a bit of exercise before exams," she said merrily.

They left the dungeons and walked out into the halls of the castle. Severus kept his voice in a fierce whisper, "I don't want to be tired during my morning exam!"

"It's potions," she said, "you'll get an '0' no matter what."

Severus said nothing. Truth was, he was a bit flattered that she had even noticed he was good with potions.

He fallowed her all the way out to he empty Quiditch field. The sun had not yet rose and that the grass was still wet with dew.

After her eyes traveled the length of his scrawny body, Narcissa said, "Clearly your not too use to this…"

"and _you_ are?" Severus sneered.

"Actually, I run often. What? Don't look at me like that! I know it's… muggle, but I need to stay in shape, and since I'm not fond of Quidicth, I have to exercise the muggle way."

Severus bit back the rude comment he was planning on making, and instead, he said, "Don't you think this is kind of useless?"

"What do you mean?" She asked, as she pulled her arms in awkward positions.

"I mean… I'm not a Black!" he said, referring to the fact all of the members of the Black family were blessed with good looks. "Don't you think my appearance is a bit of a lost cause?"

"No," she said, "but you're self esteem might be."

She helped him stretch himself out. Severus was amazed that she hadn't even mentioned Malfoy. He was thankful, too, because he had no idea how to help her out of her predicament.

Lucias Malfoy was the oldest in the Malfoy's very powerful, very rich family. He worked for the Dark Lord, and was diffidently in his favor. Severus first met the notorious wizard on his very first day at Hogwarts. After the Sorting Hat placed him in Slytherin, he sat down beside Lucias at the table. Truthfully, Severus had always liked him a bit. True, he was a sly bastard to most, but he had always been particularly nice to Severus when he was a first year, probably because he realized his potential as a Death Eater, even at the young age.

Narcissa was right; the only way to get out of the marriage is to get _him_ to decide to call it off. But she had to do this task without ruining her reputation or getting disowned by her extremely prejudice family.

"Severus?"

"Huh?"

"You get lost in thought easily, don't you?" she mocked. "Were you thinking about her?"

"No!" he snapped.

"Okay, okay. Save your energy. You're going to need it."

She took off, running on the rim of the Quiditch field. Severus followed, trying to keep up with her steady pace. His first reaction was – _This is easy, _but then there was an aching pain in his chest and a fire in his throat. His legs got tired and he could hear his pulse pounding like a drummer in a band. He forced himself to finish the lap. Then, when Narcissa came to a halt in the spot where they began and Severus collapsed onto the cold ground.

"Out of shape?" she asked.

"I was never _in_ shape!" he barked. Her laugh was flirty and cruel. "You're enjoying this far too much."

"I'm only trying to help, my dear. I promise, as you put that mind of yours to work on my problem, I'll make you tantalizing by the end of the summer."

Severus scoffed.

"Now, give me… let's say, 10 push up. Then we'll do another lap."

"You'll kill me," he sneered.

"I'm insulted, don't you trust me?" she asked, her blue eyes widening.

Severus answered truthfully, "no."

After two more laps, Severus walked back down to the dungeons sweat- soaked and soar. Narcissa was at his side.

"So this summer, we'll work on looks. We'll bulk you up, do something with that hair-"

"It won't do any good, _my dear_."

"Once we return to school, I'll work on popularity."

Severus couldn't keep from rolling his eyes.

"Now, go wash up," she said.

"I don't need _you_ to tell me," he said. He hurried away from her. Right before he got to the Male Slytherin's Restroom, he heard her call, 'don't forget to wash behind your ears.'

Severus sunk into the heated water of the bath. He didn't have very long before breakfast would begin, but the water soothed his aching body. He took in a deep breath then slid his head beneath the surface.

I have agreed to help Narcissa Black weasel her way out of an arranged marriage, he thought, she's going to make me over, and help me win Lily back.

He broke the surface of the warm water, breathing in the air. _Lily Evans, Lily Evans, Lily Evans._

Sometimes, Severus thought, the sound of her name is enough to make me happy. _Lily Evans, Lily Evans…_

This wasn't one of those times. He wanted to see her. He wanted her so badly that he was willing to negotiate with a Black, to plot against a Malfoy, and give up his future as a Death Eater.

He leaned forward and turned up the temperature on the facet until it was scorching hot. Then he let his arm burn beneath the running water.

He had no idea what to do to help Narcissa. In fact, he had no idea if he could even trust her. He didn't know if he could win back Lily, or how she felt. So, he got out of the bath, dressed, and headed for the one thing he was confident he knew for sure- potions.


	2. Chapter 2

"Why so sad, Lily? Don't tell me you're thinking about Snape again!" said Mary irritably as she slid close the compartment door of Hogwart's express.

"I'm not!" Lily lied.

"Good," said Marry, sitting down opposite her, "because that greasy git doesn't deserve you're sorrow, or friendship, for that matter. You're better off without him."

"No soon-to-be Death Eater is a friend of mine," said Lily, attempting to sound well, but the delivery stunk, and she was quite aware that she sounded the opposite.

Mary was aware of it too, "Give it some time, Lily. You'll forget he ever existed."

Lily nodded in agreement. Then, she peered out the window and watched as they passed tree after tree in the Forbidden Forest. She very much wanted to believe Mary; to be confident that time would heal even her deepest wounds. But she highly doubted that she could forget years and years of friendship.

Real friendship couldn't be forgotten, and it couldn't last. It could only end.

Mary opened her mouth to speak, but was interrupted when the door opened again. In came another Gryffindor from their year.

"Hi, Alice," said Lily.

"Hi," she replied. Another girl followed her in.

"Mind if I settle here?" the other girl asked. She struck Lily as strange from first glance, with wild brown hair and thick, round glasses that magnified her eyes and made her look a lot like a giant fly.

"Not at all," said Mary wearily.

The two new girls settled in the compartment. The train pressed on.

Finally, Marry said, "How do you think you did on your O.W.L's?"

"I actually think I did well," Alice said happily.

"Me too, though I found the Transfiguration one rather difficult. What about you, Lily?"

"They weren't too bad. My mind wasn't clear, though," mumbled Lily.

"Oh, yeah. How are you holding out without Severus?" asked Alice.

"I'm perfectly fine," said Lily, unconvincingly.

"Because you don't need that dolt!" Marry cried.

"I know, I know. After what he said, I can go my whole life without seeing Bloody Severus Snape."

"And be perfectly happy," Mary added.

"Yes," agreed Lily, "Perfectly happy."

"Oh, I don't believe a word of that poppycock," said Alice suddenly. She wrapped a friendly arm around Lily's shoulders. When she spoke, her words were gentle and kind, "I know you aren't _perfectly happy_. You were crying all night."

Lily felt her face flush pink. She had thought everyone else was asleep. Now, at finding out that others had heard her weep, Lily got upset with herself. _You are NOT going to shed another tear for that horrible boy, _but even as she thought it, she knew it wasn't true.

"I just had a… disturbing dream," Lily tried to explain.

The strange girl's head shot up quickly, and her magnified eyes somehow managed to grow even bigger. "A dream?" she said, "Oh, wont you please let me decipher it for you? I've taken N.E.W.T level Devination."

Lily hesitated before answering. "…I suppose."

"Wait a moment," said Mary, "who _are _you?"

She spoke in a smooth, proud voice. "My name is Sybill Trelawney. I am a Seer. It's in my blood."

"What house are you in?"

"Hufflepuff… Now, may I hear more about this dream?"

All eyes were on Lily. She wished she could cover herself in an invisibility cloak and disappear. "It began ordinary, I suppose. I was walking through Hogwarts, going to the Library, I think. Then, I was thinking about Severus…"

She paused, watching as Sybill leaned in closer. Lily wished story time would end.

"I was thinking about Severus, and then he was in front of me. I kept talking to him. Merlin's Beard, I can't even remember what I was saying, but I remember he wasn't listening. He was looking through me, but also looking _for_ me. D-does that mean anything?"

Sybill shook her head sadly. "Oh dear. Lost of communication with a loved one in a dream is usually a sign of death or separation."

Lily eyed her suspiciously before finally saying, "he isn't a loved one."

She mumbled something about 'beware the charm of those you do not trust' and scurried out of the room.

"I've heard about her before," said Mary, crinkling her noise. "Don't worry. She hasn't the slightest idea what she's talking about."

Lily returned her attention to the window. She was barely listening as Alice and Mary discussed they're plans for the summer. Her heart sank as they spoke of everything they planned to do. Lily new what she would be doing this summer- sitting in her room ignoring her sister Petunia's 'I told you so's'.

But luckily, when Lily left the train, her sister wasn't there. She only spotted her two parents smiling brightly at her. Lily was immensely glad to see them and she hoped that neither of them would notice the lack of the long-haired, stone-faced boy who they usually drove home.


	3. Chapter 3

Severus returned home to an empty house. He hadn't expected his Father or his Mother to want to see there only son, but he was still a bit hurt that they weren't there. It had been an entire year, after all.

He walked into his room, equipped with a bed, a stack of books, a dresser, and a lot of dust. He dropped the suitcase he'd been carrying unto the floor and walked lazily to his bed. He lay on the lumpy mattress, his eyes staring up at the cracked, gray ceiling.

He had important things to think about- what classes he'd take next year, how to tell Rosier and Avery that he no longer intended on becoming a Death Eater, how to admit to himself that he was no longer going to serve the Dark Lord, how to help Narcissa…

But with all the things he had to consider, his mind was entirely engulfed by a simple pair of green eyes. _Lily hates you_, he reminded himself. _What are you thinking_, a snide little voice kept asking, _you know Narcissa can't improve your looks. She isn't even trying. She doesn't care about you. The only person to ever care about you lives a few houses down, but she hates you now_.

He rolled onto his stomach and buried his face in his hands. He was able to focus for a moment. Lucius had to drop Narcissa, _but how_? Severus considered getting Lucius a new love interest, but then he knew Lucius wouldn't marry for love. No other pureblood families beside the Blacks would be good enough for Malfoy. Severus inhaled deeply. This seemed entirely useless.

He was almost asleep when a familiar, angry voice cried, "Severus? You here yet?"

Severus got up, and scurried out to the living room. "Hi, Mum," he said to the tall, gray woman standing before him.

"Hello. Oh Merlin, you need a hair cut."

"Erm… Where's Father?" he asked.

"Does it matter?" she snapped.

"I suppose not…" said Severus, confused.

He could tell his mother was upset, and knew better then to ask questions. So he was left wondering where his father was for days and eventually grew used to the house without the drunken bastard.

His summer was filled with reading the same books he already knew by heart, and working out. He was surprised to see the muscles forming in his legs and arms. He didn't spend much time with his mother, or anyone else, for that matter.

One day, while Severus sat on his bed reading _Hogwarts: A History_, he looked up from his page to see Narcissa Black standing before him. "I was worried about popping in on you, thought you might be chaffing the carrot. Should'a figured you'd only be reading."

She had come with a large bag, which she threw onto his bed.

"Did you just appareate?" he asked, knowing well that she was under aged.

"Nope, but you recall those running shoes I gave you?" Severus nodded. "Well, one of them was a portkey, incase I needed to see you."

Severus considered this for a moment. "You know, your sort of brilliant. Are you sure you need me?"

Narcissa sat down beside him. "Oh, trust me, I need you. Have you thought of anything yet?"

He shook his head solemnly. "I'm working on it. So, what's in the bag?"

"Presents," she chimed. First, Narcissa pulled out a set of black robes, lined with green thread. They were extremely well made and exactly his size. "These are for you, if you ever encounter my parents, and for next year."

"I'm not a charity," Snape spat.

"And these," she said, ignoring him, "are potion ingredients for the Balzam potion we'll be making."

"Balzam?" he asked, surprised to come across a potion he hadn't read about before.

"It's a Slovenian potion. Conditions your hair like a charm."

Severus sneered, "I need a potion for what shampoo will do?"

"Sev, trust me, I use this stuff and its brilliant."

"What did you just call me?" Severus choked.

"_Sev_. What? You don't like?"

"No." He slammed his book shut and got off the bed. "Give me the instructions. I can brew the potion."

"It's rather difficult," she warned.

"_I can brew the potion_," he repeated. "Is there anything else?"

"Yeah," she said, sounding more conscious. "This is acne wash."

Severus had taken to pacing the room. "For what? I don't have acne."

"I know that," she said, "but it'll brighten you up, make you look less…"

"Like a living corpse?"

"Yeah," she laughed, "also… Mum's turning 40 and, of coarse, is throwing the biggest ball in Black history. You're going, so I'm taking you to buy dress robes."

"Why must I go?"

"Because," she wined, "Lucius'll be there, and Mum will be forcing our acquaintance the entire time! And I'll be miserable! I'll need a friend there."

She came forward and met the pacing Severus. She pouted her lip and mumbled, "please?"

Severus was surprised more then anything else. He could use a lot of words to describe Narcissa, but 'friend' wouldn't be one of them. Should he? _No,_ _we're more like business partners. _ "Fine. I'll go."

"Wonderful," she said, her lips stretching into a huge smile.

They sat down and begun to make the Balzam potion. Severus was still baffled that the incredibly popular Black sister would choose him to befriend, and it made him paranoid. She knew so little about him. In fact, Narcissa wasn't even aware that he was half-blood, because he had told all the Slytherins that he was from a very small, pure family from America.

"Keep working out, by the way. I can see the muscles already," she said, as she unpacked the ingredients.

"Thanks," Severus replied awkwardly.

"_Wait a moment_," she gasped, covering her hands with her mouth, "What is _this_?" She pulled from his dresser a ragged, brown teddy bear. "A stuffed toy, Severus?"

Severus' face turned bright pink as he attempted to snatch the bear from her grasp.

"How did you acquire this little delight?" she asked, whilst laughing and holding it out of his reach.

"It was a gift!" He managed to grab hold of its little velvet ear. He pulled, and there was a horrible sound of ripping fabric. "Oh, look what you've down now!"

"_Me? _You're the one!" Her laughing barely ceased.

Severus took the bear from her, and looked down at it. _Damn you, Severus Snape, why do you care about this piece of trash?_

"My dear," said Narcissa, just beginning to quiet down, "did that have sentimental value to you?"

"No."

"Then why's it so worn?" she asked.

"cause' it use to be Lily's favorite toy, is all. She gave it to me the day before we left to Hogwarts, and I gave her my first potion book. It was one of those _stupid _things kids do to say they'll be friends forever," he grumbled and tossed the bear against the far wall.

He expected to have to hear Narcissa laugh and make more jokes. But instead, he felt her arms warp around him and she laid her fluffy blond hair against his shoulder.

"So, dress robe shopping on Saturday?" she asked.

He was deeply thankful for the change of subject. "Yeah, sure."

It took her a while to stop hugging him. When she did, they got right to work on the potion.

It was an easy potion for Severus to brew. Narcissa instructed him to wait 4 days before applying.

"Okay," he said, "I will."

"I was thinking…" she said, "are you any good at Quiditch?"

Severus gulped and shook his head vigorously. "No, no, no. I'd only humiliate myself on a Quiditch field."

"Oh, c'mon. I'll get you an instructor. Girls love Quiditch players. Just look at that bloke James Potter."

"I don't wish to be _anything_ like him."

"Just a few lessons?"

"_No._"

She looked at him disappointedly. "And here I was, thinking you _wanted_ Lily back." Narcissa took hold of one of his running shoes and disappeared. Severus had the wicked idea of taking those very shoes and shipping it off to Japan.


	4. Chapter 4

Everything in the park was a bright shade of green. The grass, soft and still wet with morning dew, flattened beneath his port-key running shoes. The cool air surrounded him as he looked about the park. The only difference between then and when he use to come there as a kid with Lily was that, at that moment, he was entirely alone.

But Severus was very much used to that particular feeling. He was alone all the time, his Mother being at work most of the day, and his Father being gone somewhere. He had been visited by Narcissa, but of coarse, she only brought more of a headache.

_How am I going to help her? _Severus wondered as he paced around the sand box.

He couldn't concentrate on Narcissa, not at that place. At that place, he could only think of Lily. She was probably having a wonderful summer. She was probably out and about, spending time with her abundant number of Gryffindor friends. _And_, Severus thought with a shiver, _she's probably out on dates with air-heads like James or Sirius._

Sirius Black- were _he_ to fall in love with a muggleborn, with a family like his, he'd have to run away like his sister Andromeda.

Then, with a suddenness that nearly made him jump, Severus had an idea- a clever, wicked idea that sent him running home.

Meanwhile, Lily sat at her kitchen table with her sister, Petunia, and her two parents. She held a silver fork in her hand. She used it to smash her peas, rather then eat them.

"Are you not hungry, Lily?" asked her mother.

"Not really," she said, without looking up from her plate.

"You seem tired," her father noted.

Petunia, who seemed incapable of containing an insult, snapped, "_I'm _the one who's tired!"

The family looked at her with raised eyebrows.

Petunia turned to Lily, "if we're going to share a room, then you need to stop sleep talking!"

Lily flushed. "I-I sleep talk?"

"Only recently," she said, whilst scooping peas into her happily chatting mouth, "You keep saying 'Severus' in your sleep. I always knew you were going to end up with that weirdo."

Lily was highly colored now. "I haven't _ended up_ with anyone. He's only a fr- actually, he isn't even a friend anymore."

"Not a friend? Did something happen?" asked her mother.

"No, Mum," she lied, "we just had a falling out, is all."

"Bout' time," said Petunia. Mother silenced her with a I'm-warning-you look on her face.

"Who? The boy?" said Lily's father, looking up from the pile of bills. "Is that why I don't see him around?"

"Yes…" Lily mumbled. She was beginning to feel uncomfortable in her seat.

"Actually," said her mother, "I see him jogging almost every day when I water the lawn…"

"May I be excused?" Lily asked quickly, and shuffled off to her room.

Her room had become a sanctum that summer. Though she shared it with Petunia, Petunia was often out of the house, and Lily had that space to herself.

She immediately went to her book shelf and searched for a book to occupy her mind. Just as she sat down with Pride and Prejudice, there was a noise out side of her window. Lily looked up to see a large, gray owl hovering on the other side of the glass.

"Hello there," she said, as she opened the window merrily. The owl was holding a heavy letter, which Lily presumed was from Mary or Alice.

Her jaw soon dropped. The letter read:

Dear Lily,

I've just been invited to a ball held by the Black family. It's going to be huge! Almost every Pure-blood at school will be there and they're allowed to bring dates, of course. I need a date, too. So I thought- I should bring the prettiest girl at school. What do you say, Evans? You want to go to the ball with me? –James Potter.

Before Lily could do more then fold up the letter, the door swung open.

"Get that disgusting bird away from my bed!" Petunia screeched. The bird stretched out its pretty wings and swiftly flew away. Then, the older sister eyed her sibling. "What's that?" she asked, "A _love_ letter to Severus."

"no…" said Lily meekly. "You know, Tuney. I really wish you'd get your own love life, and stay the Hell out of mine."

Petunia gasped at the insult. For a while, she only stuttered. Finally, she managed, "Well you're just a horrible outcast, and you belong with whatever_ freak_ wrote that letter."

Lily merely slipped the letter into her pocket and walked out of the room, her feet dragging against the carpet.


	5. Chapter 5

"Wow, you're hair looks great," said Narcissa happily as Severus popped into her large, pink, and extremely well furnished bedroom. "The potion worked well, huh?"

"Narcissa, I have more important things to talk about," Severus said, but that didn't stop her from coming forward and combing his long black hair with her slender fingers.

"Listen," he urged, "you want Malfoy to choose to marry into a different family. Well, what if the Blacks were horribly humiliated? Then he'd never-"

"But I _told _you," she said, backing away. "I'll get disowned. I can't disgrace my family!"

"But what if it isn't _you_ who's the disgrace?" Severus asked, his dark eyes gleaming.

"I'm listening…"

"Imagine this," he said, the corners of his mouth twitching upward, "at your mother's ball, with every pureblood family in England-"

"And more!" said Narcissa.

"And more," he agreed, "a young Black, by the name of _Sirius_, gets into a dispute over… marriage between wizards and muggles… and does something ludicrous and irrational, thus humiliating your family in front of everyone."

"and sending Malfoy elsewhere!"

"precisely."

Narcissa bit her knuckles and thought it through. "I like it," she finally said, "but how do we get Sirius to do that such a thing? I can do Imperious Curses, but I need a little practice." She added the last part wickedly.

"No…" said Severus. "that's too risky. If Lily were to find out I used an Unforgivable Curse…"

"Do you ever think of anyone but Lily Evans?"

"I thought of_ you_ enough to have thought of a plan!" he snapped. "What we need is Polyjuice Potion."

"Never heard of it," Narcissa said, as she took a seat in one of her comfy arm chairs.

Severus sat in a seat near her, "Of coarse _you _haven't."

"I take offense to that," she said coolly.

"Won't you just listen?" he sneered.

"Okay, okay, go on…"

"The problem with Polyjuice is it takes months to brew, and we need to execute our plan immediately. When's the ball?"

"The week before school starts, so a bit over a month away."

Severus gulped. "Like I said, we need to begin immediately. There's always the option of using a Time-Turner, but…"

"Severus?" He stopped talking, waiting for her to go on. "I can just _buy _this potion. I am filthy rich, you know."

Severus resisted the urge to hit himself across the head. Why hadn't he thought of that before? He supposed that he wasn't use to buying the things he wanted.

"What does this potion even do?" Narcissa asked. "How will it affect my cousin?"

"Polyjuice allows the drinker to assume the form of another person."

"Oh, I get it. You want me to drink this potion, turn into some Muggle girl, and then make my cousin fall in love with me."

Severus nodded, surprised that she had caught on so quickly.

"It's sort of sick, but I'll do it."

They're conversation ceased when the door to Narcissa's room swung open. In came what looked like an adult form of Narcissa.

"Mum, this is my good friend Severus Snape."

Severus stood up immediately and approached the woman. He was very thankful to be wearing the robes Narcissa had given him, for they were far nicer then his usual.

"Oh, so _you're_ the boy that's taking my Narcissa here to my ball?" she said, with great disgust.

"Yes, Ma'am, and very pleased to be, too." Severus felt saliva gathering in his throat.

"Well, do tell me, what is _so _special about you?" asked Mrs. Black harshly, whipping her stiff blonde hair out of her face.

"Pardon me?" he asked, confused.

"Well, if my daughter chooses you as an escort over our good friend Lucius, then there has to be some reason. Am I right?"

"Mother!" Narcissa whined, "Lucius himself _loves _Severus. Isn't that right, Sev?"

"I suppose we've got a friendship…" he said.

"Well, go on. Tell me about yourself."

"Erm- I'm in Slytherin."

"Obviously," she cut in, "my Narcissa wouldn't associate with anyone who wasn't."

Narcissa looked at him, and he could see that her eyes were pleading for him to please say something impressive.

"I- erm- create curses," he said.

"You do?" Mrs. Black asked.

Severus swallowed hard. "Yes, Ma'am."

"How do you manage such advanced magic?"

"Severus is brilliant!" Narcissa said.

Her mother shushed her immediately. "Let the boy speak, Narcissa."

"Well," said Severus, "I usually think of the spells purpose first, then research spells with similar uses- add words, usually Greek or Latin based."

Mrs. Black nodded slowly, looking less like Narcissa and more like a bowing hipogrff. "That is impressive. What did you say your name was?"

"Severus Snape," he said. He attempted a smile, but it only lasted for about a second.

"Okay, Mum," said Narcissa as she wrapped an arm around Severus's shoulder, "can I steal my friend back? We were about to leave to buy dress robes..."

"Buy something nice, Dear, and Severus?"

"Yes, Ma'am?"

"I'm looking forward to seeing you at my ball."

Severus had a genuine smile now (although a very slight one). "As am I, thank you."

Mrs. Black whipped around, and her head of blonde hair disappeared down the very long hallway.

"She likes you," said Narcissa so brightly that she had begun to bounce on the tips of her toes. "She likes you, that's _great, _Severus, good job."

Severus merely nodded.

"So, ready to go shop?"

They traveled to the far end of Diagon Alley, where lied all the biggest most extravagant shops. This was the end that Severus scarcely visited. He couldn't afford anything unless Narcissa was at his side. He hated receiving gifts or charity almost as much as he hated Sirius Black or James Potter but, for once, he refused to let his pride block his path to redemption with Lily.

Narcissa led him to a large shop with huge glass windows. .He opened two heavy doors with his newly formed muscles. The inside of the shop was impressive enough to make Severus halt. Hundreds of silk, velvet, and cashmere robes with golden thread and glass buttons hung from shelve after shelve. The ceiling was bewitched with a shinning sun that cast a brilliant light upon the expensive fabrics. Severus felt Narcissa grip his hand and pull him father into the shop.

"I asked for a dress tailored last week, and a pair of men's robes to match. Shall we try them on?"

"Alright," he said.

Shortly after, Severus found himself standing in a large, square dressing room with the robes Narcissa mentioned. He slipped them over his head and looked at himself in the mirror.

He stared at his reflection which was wearing an elegant pair of silk black robes with a classic cut. It had an interesting design weaved in blood red thread along the shoulders and sleeves. On the inside was a fabric that was red too. It felt like silk.

Severus left the dressing room feeling pleased with what Narcissa had chosen.

"Severus, what do you think?" chimed a sultry voice.

Narcissa was wearing a tight, red and black cross between a dress and a robe. It was short, and far more revealing then anything Severus had seen a woman wear before. It was low cut around the chest, and so short that the dress's trim almost matched the end of her long, blonde hair. She was stunning, and sexy. Severus was speechless.

"Wow, our robes match beautifully!" she said. The two looked at themselves, and each other, in a large mirror.

"Narcissa, you look… divine," he said.

"You look quite exquisite yourself." Her arms wrapped around his middle and she buried her face in the soft silk covering his chest. "We make a cute couple," she added.

The hug lasted a long while. Severus hugged back, becoming quite use to Narcissa's constant need for contact.

They purchased the robes using the large sum of gold in Narcissa's purse. Then they went and bought Polyjuice Potion from a mysterious figure in a black robe (which Severus was not too sure about.)

At the end of the day, Severus returned to Narcissa's mansion. Out in front, a muscular man was zooming about on a broom stick.

"Who's that?"

Narcissa smiled widely. "Oh that? He's just your personal Quiditch trainer. Better hurry up, you're late."

"Wh-what? Narcissa, I _told _you!"

"Have fun!" she chimed, and skipped off to the house.


	6. Chapter 6

** IF THERE IS SOMETHING THAT YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND IN THIS CHAPTER, JUST HOLD ON, IT'LL ALL BE EXPLAINED IN CHAPTERS TO COME. **** THANKS SO MUCH FOR READING AND PLEASE STAY TUNED AND ****REVIEW****. **

_I'm going to kill her, I'm going to kill her- _was all Severus thought as he zoomed into the air on the old broomstick of Narcissa's cousin, Regulus. His hair and robes whipped behind him, and his eyes watered from the force of the streaming wind. _I'll throw that portkey in the ocean. I'll poison her Polyjuice… _

"Alright, nice speed," said the trainer, whose name was Aldoph. "Fly twice around the house." His voice faded away as Severus sped toward the mansion.

He could see Narcissa laughing in a near-by window. He glared at her as he flew by. Despite his atrocious Quiditch skills, Severus had always been a quick flyer.

His knuckles turned so white that he had to loosen his grip on the broom. A familiar memory drifted to mind.

Severus was only a first year when he came across the strange book. It was in the restricted section of Hogwart's Library. It was old and thick, with dust, and even bugs, buried beneath the heavy pages. It contained an abundant amount of dark curses, all of which were very complex. For months, he had practiced a single curse- one that would allow him to lighten his bones, like a bird. Finally, when he thought he got it right, he jumped off the astronomy tower and, swiftly, broke every bone in his body.

Severus finished his 2nd lap.

"Good work," said Aldoph as he came into view. "You're fast."

Severus nodded.

"What position do you play?"

He shrugged.

"You have potential as Seeker. We'll start with the Snitch."

As Severus chased the winged, golden ball, the Seeker of Gryffindor, James Potter, walked into the home of his best friend, Sirius.

"Has Evans written back yet?" Sirius asked, as they walked into the living room.

"No," James grumbled. "She's still hung over Snivellus."

"_Still?_ Merlin's beard, you'd think the two were in love or something."

"Don't even kid," said James, scrunching up his face as though he'd just smelt something very foul.

"But honestly, Snape has clearly moved on," said Sirius as he absent mindedly lay across a sofa.

"What makes you so sure?" asked James.

"He's escorting my cousin, Narcissa, to the ball. They're placed at our table, in fact."

"What!" cried James, kicking at the sofa beneath Sirius. "Blimey, Padfoot, why didn't you tell me?"

"I think I just did!"

James muttered some curse words beneath his breath. "I don't understand it! How can the greasy hermit manage to befriend all the hottest girls in school?"

"I can't exactly say my cousin is 'hot'…"

"Oh, you know what I mean!"

Just then, the fire placed flared and Regulus Black walked out from beneath the flames. "I. Hate. Narcissa."

Sirius sat up at the arrival of his brother. "You too, eh?" he asked.

"I was just over there, and you know what she's doing?"

"I don't _care,_ Regulus," he replied as James stomped over to the sofa and sat beside him.

"She's having her boyfriend trained as Seeker! SEEKER! The position _I PLAY! _The nerve…."

James suddenly brightened and chuckled a bit. "She's got a boyfriend, ay? Poor widle Severus ought' not get his hopes up."

"Really, James? Severus _is _her boyfriend, and he's a damn fast flyer too."

Both James and Sirius sprang to they're feet.

"Snape and Narcissa?"

"How did _that_ happen?"

"Don't know," said Regulus, "I didn't talk to him, but that's what Narcissa told me when I was over there just a moment ago."

"Well, now I really need to find a hot date to the Ball, if even Snivellus has got one," grumbled Sirius.

"And I really need to practice my Quiditch," Regulus whined.

"Oh, shut up, both of you! Don't you realize what really matters here?" James fumed.

"and what would that be, Potter?" Regulus asked.

"LILY EVANS! Do you know how awkward it'll be for her to sit at a table with me and Snape?"

"That's assuming she even says yes," Sirius teased.

"Oh, shut it. Can you get us moved to a different table?"

The Black brothers shook they're heads solemnly.

"Prongs- they've has this planned for months," began Sirius.

"The other day, I asked if I could wear white robes, rather then eggshell, and I got a three hour lecture about the 'color coordination' from me aunt."

"Bloody Snivellus!" James moaned, "he's got to ruin everything."

"Wow, I didn't know Gryffindors were such cry babies. Oh wait, yeah I did. I live with Sirius, don't I?"

Sirius kicked his brother out of the room, shouting, "have fun _not_ playing Seeker next year." Then he returned to James, who was burying his face in his hands.

"Look at the bright side, Prongs. You'll get to humiliate Snape on the Quiditch field."

This brightened him considerably. "I think I'll go for Seeker next year. So I can catch the snitch before Snape even mounts his broom."

Sirius laughed. "I'm sure you will. So, are we going to sit here moping all day?"

"You have to swear to help me with Evans."

"Okay, okay. I will."

James' lips curled into a smirk. Sirius yanked him off the couch by his shoulder, and the two walked out to fly brooms above the courtyard.

Meanwhile, Narcissa treaded about her room. She damned her life for being so complicated. She hated her parents for being so judgmental, and she hated herself for involving an innocent victim, and she hated Severus for being too damn smart, yet, not quite smart enough.

She peered out her large window. She could see Severus practicing from there. He was chasing something too small for her to see. He was going very fast, and Narcissa, who was watching him greedily, thought he appeared to be doing a good job. But then the occasional Bludger would whack him in the side, setting him off course.

Finally, after an hour passed, Aldoph called Severus to the ground.

"I think we're done for the day," he told the very sweaty, worn-out young wizard. "You did well. You seem to have a lot of focus on your task, which is good. But you _need_ to watch out for those Bludgers, and the potentially other flyers. We'll work on it. See you again tomorrow?"

"_Don't hold your breath, actually, please do_."

"What was that?"

"Nothing," said Severus. "I just have one question."

"I'm all ears," said Aldoph.

"Is there, perhaps, a rule that states the players must be _on _they're brooms while playing?"

Aldoph thought for a moment, as if finding this question quite peculiar. Finally, he said, "a player is in play until they touch the ground. Is that all?"

Severus nodded and the two wizards flew away.

Severus used Narcissa's fireplace and went straight home. He had no energy to go yell at her that afternoon. He wasn't all that mad. He had expected her to do something to upset him, eventually. She wasn't perfect. She wasn't Lily, after all.

The one real disappointment was that he was about to tell her something that was very hushed within the walls of Hogwarts. He was going to tell her that he was Half-Blood. This was a secret only Lily was aware of. In Slytherin, you were frowned upon if your blood lines weren't pure as gold. So Severus lied, which he was sure many of his housemates did as well.

The day had been a long one, filled with both fun events and humiliating falls off the broom. He was glad to return to his house, no matter how empty and lonesome it always was.


	7. Chapter 7

Severus took Narcissa to the Muggle shopping mall, a place she'd never been before. Despite his irritation with her for hiring him a trainer the day prior, he was still extremely amused by her complete lack of knowledge for Muggle traditions.

"What do they call this place?"

"The mall," he explained. She nodded and looked around. Her eyes portrayed both wonder and disgust. "So, keep your eyes open for someone attractive. She'll have to be real pretty, or Sirius won't look twice."

They made they're way to the mall's food court. Severus had to keep pulling Narcissa along or else she would stand they're mocking the Muggles all day. They sat down at a table in the midst of several food stands.

Narcissa spoke. "See anyone good?"

"No."

She sighed heavily. "I forgot, you only notice red-headed Gryffindors."

"Shut it. I'm not attracted to these muggles."

"Well," said Narcissa annoyed, "Just pick one."

"Okay. Erm… that one, over there." He nodded toward a tall, curvy teenager with long brown hair and light brown eyes with thick eyelashes.

"Nice choice," Narcissa said. "Now go ask her for a strand of her hair."

"I can't do that," he growled, "Don't you think that'd be a bit strange?"

"Just go."

"Nar-"

"GO."

"You do it!" But Narcissa only shook her head very slowly. She wanted _him _to go ask, and when did Narcissa Black ever fail to get as she desired?

The girl didn't take much notice to Severus as he stepped behind her and her friend in a line for food. Severus could feel his palms sweating. Though in his life time he had had more female friends then male, he couldn't help but feel nervous at approaching these girls. He swallowed hard and prepared to do exactly what Narcissa told him- be blunt and completely honest.

"Excuse me," he said, but it wasn't loud enough to catch there attention. "Excuse me?" he repeated.

The girls turned around. He was close enough now to see the specks of yellow in the pretty girl's round, brown eyes.

"I'm brewing a magical potion and need a strand of hair from the head of a beautiful girl. Would you like to assist?"

She laughed a very squeaky laugh. "_A strand of my hair? _You're ganna have to buy me dinner first."

"Buy you dinner?" Severus hurriedly emptied his pockets of his Muggle money. He hoped it'd be enough. "Does you're friend want dinner too?"

"You want to take out _both _of us?" asked the pretty girl.

"No…" said Severus, trying to keep the annoyance out of his voice. "I want a strand of your hair."

Both the girls' eye's traveled the length of his body. The pretty one turned to her friend.

"I don't want him," said the friend.

"Good, because I do." At seeing Severus' confused expression, she explained, "we always consult before pursuing a man."

"…and if I don't want to be pursued?"

She merely laughed. "If you didn't want to be perused then why did you some over to us?"

"For the strand of hair." He wished Muggles would listen once in a damn while.

She held out a brown curl. Severus hesitantly reached forward and _pluck. _

With the lock in his hands, Severus turned to leave.

"_EXCUSE ME?_"

He faced her once again. Her eyebrows formed a V-shape.

"Yes?" Severus sneered.

"That's it?" she asked, "you really only wanted my hair?"

"Yes. That's what I said, isn't it?" Severus stood there, waiting for her to reply to this.

It took her a long while, but finally, she said, "Y-you're a freak!"

"Yeah, yeah," Severus sneered, "I heard it all before." With the lock of hair curled beneath his finger, he marched over to Narcissa. Narcissa was laughing herself to tears at the table. Her chest was heaving and she could hardly say a word between giggles.

"Did- you… _SEE_- they're- faces?" she cried.

Severus sat down in the chair opposite and, ignoring her, carefully put the hair in a small vile.

"But-but- did you _see_ the looks on they're faces?"

"Yes and I've never been more embarrassed in my life," he growled.

She looked up at him and raised a very questioning eyebrow.

"Okay, maybe I have been." A too-familiar memory of Potter hanging him upside down came to mind.

"They seemed to fancy you, you know," said Narcissa, seeming more impressed with herself then with him. "Until you pulled her hair out, that is."

Severus paid her little mind. He rose the vile to eye level, and examined the hair inside. "We'll need someone of age to multiply this for us. Then we'll have enough to last as long as we need."

"Bella will do it."

"Perfect."

"Sev, _please _let's walk around this malt."

He glared up at her dazzling smile. "It's called a mall, and I told you not to call me-"

"Sev?"

"Yes! That! Don't…"

"No," she cut in, "I meant… oh, just turn around!"

Severus' head spun around. His heart leaped like a frightened frog when he spotted that head of red hair that he'd dreamt of since his childhood.

"I-I forgot she comes here," Severus managed.

"Who is that _hideous _creature beside her?" Narcissa asked.

"Who? Oh, um, her sister, Petunia."

"Well, I can see who got the looks in the family," she noted.

"Let's leave."

"What? Why? We should go say hello."

"No," he said fiercely. "I'll _kill_ you."

"a bit violent today, aren't you?" she teased.

"I just- I- never mind. Can we just get out of here?" Severus stood up. He stared down at the floor and let his curtain of black hair hide his face. "c'mon. Let's go."

Narcissa frowned but followed him out of the food court. They walked passed store after store. Narcissa kept misreading the names and pointing at the mannequins, as happy as a 1st year in Honeydukes. Severus, on the other hand, kept looking over his shoulder for a glimpse of Lily.

"Oh no!" Narcissa gasped at seeing the time on a series of cloaks being advertised in an antique store. "You're late for Quiditch training!"

"Narcissa, I refuse to subject myself to your… your…"

"Attempt to help you?"

"Yeah, _that,_" he sneered.

She graphed hold of his sweaty hand and, despite his objection, ushered him to the exist.


	8. note from the author

**Hello wonderful people. **

** First off, I wanted to thank you for reading my fanfic so far. It really does touch me a lot. I promise, more chapters are on they're way! They involve Lily/Sev interaction, and more James, Sirius, Regulus, and Mr. and Mrs. Black. Plus a lot of Narcissa drama. **

** But the initial purpose of this message is to inform you that I am writing a story. It isn't a fanfic, all the characters and plot is completely my own. It is a fantasy. Among other things, Harry Potter is an inspiration. They're aren't any wizards, but there is magic, adventure, and all that good stuff. I think you'll like it. Please go here to read it, if you want vvv **

**.com/u/694023/**


	9. Chapter 8

Sirius sped down the hall, pushing past his brother. He lived in a very big house, yet somehow Regulus _always_ managed to get in his way.

"Mind your manners, Gryffindor," Regulus said.

"Buzz off, I'm in a rush."

"How come?" he asked, quickening his pace to follow his older brother.

"I told James I'd meet him an hour ago. Cleary, I'm a bit late," he growled.

"Okay, alright." Just as Sirius thought his brother was about to shut up, Regulus asked, "can I borrow you're broom?"

"What? Why?"

"I crashed mine…"

"HOW?"

He bit down on his lower lip. "I ran into a tree…"

"Listen here, Reg. I usually wouldn't care, but you _better_ not let Severus Snape take your spot on the Quiditch team! Use my broom as much as you want."

He grinned widely, "thank you, I swear, I won't crash it."

"Oh you better not, unless you want me to decapitate you. You'd look like Nearly-Headless Nick, only uglier."

"Is that a threat?"

"Yupp, and an insult too!" he mocked.

"Oh! Get out of here! Wouldn't want to keep that boyfriend of yours waiting."

Sirius ran at a sprint down the hall. He went straight to the fire place and then he was gone.

Sirius met James outside of his house.

"I'm sorry I'm late-" Sirius began.

"It doesn't matter," James interrupted. "So Evans finally said 'yes'. I have to say, I was a bit worried at first, but-"

"Yeah, yeah, _the Potter charm never fails, _I know. Are you going out with her to buy robes?"

"I have to, don't I?" he grinned.

"Don't get, let's see, red, white or dark blue."

"Fearing I'll look like the American flag?" James asked, as he took a seat on the porch. Sirius was surprised he even knew what the USA's colors were.

"No. It's because Regulus and his lil' date are wearing white. Narcissa and Snape are in red. I was planning on going in blue. We're all at the same table."

"Padfoot, does it matter if two couples at one table wear the same colors?"

"Well, pardon me for not wanting you to look like you're on a date with Snivellus!" Sirius growled in reply. He sat on the porch beside him.

"I hope Lily will have a good time," said James absently.

"C'mon Prongs, you know she will."

He shrugged. "But what if she gets all… emotional, when she see's Snape? Damn it, they were friends for years."

"It's been _all summer_! She probably won't even look twice at the bloke," Sirius lied.

James inhaled deeply. "Okay," he said finally, "I'll write about robes in my reply. Any luck on finding your date yet?"

"No, there just isn't anyone to ask!"

"What are you talking about?" James asked, "there are plenty of girls you could take!"

Sirius stared daggers at his friend. "When you think of the hottest girls you know, who do you think of first."

"Evans… Probably Narcissa Black, her sisters too-"

"You see?" Sirius howled. "You've got dibs on Evans, and I'm not exactly interested in inbreeding."

"I don't know what to say, Prongs. But you better hurry up! Or everyone good will be taken."

The two boys huffed. They continued they're discussion until the sun sunk low in the sky.

That night, Narcissa paced around her room. She kept glancing nervously at the box on her desk, which held strands of brown hair from the head of the muggle from the mall.

She felt as though her head was stuck deep in a pile of shit. She hadn't expected Severus to form such a good plan. Admittedly, his plan might work. But she had had an idea long ago, and it was now being set in motion. She'd passed the point of no return. Her backward glances were useless. She couldn't turn back.

At first, she had only worried about herself. She had only cared about how her plan would affect her future. Now she thought of Severus. A deep feeling of regret roared in her stomach as she thought of how she was betraying his trust. She wanted to cry, but she was too good to show such a sign of weakness.

There was a soft rapping at the door. She opened it, and small, wrinkled house elf stood at knee- level. "Master Black," it squeaked, "Dinner will be served in a total of 5 minutes."

"I won't be dinning today," she announced before slamming the door shut.

Narcissa returned to her nervous glancing. Finally, she head for the desk. She stared at the box. Then, in opening it, starred at the brown locks.

She would make it appear to Severus as though she were working at his plan. She would be _devasted_ when it failed. She would cry into his shoulder, saying, "_Oh, Severus. I've ruined everything! It's all my fault." _


	10. Chapter 9

Severus trotted into his house, feeling quite confident that he had done well during Quiditch training. Of course, he still considered himself a horrible player, but he was becoming less and less horrible each day. Plus, muscles were forming where they hadn't been before and he didn't mind getting more then disgusted scowls from the muggle girls in the area. The one problem was that practice left him with an aching pain in his stomach. He didn't have any food at his home to satisfy his growing body.

"What are you so happy about?" said a cranky voice in the kitchen.

"Oh, hi Mother," he mumbled, shrinking within himself.

"Since when do you come home smiling?"

"I just…"

"Are you having sex?" she shot unexpectedly.

Severus' face burned scarlet. "W-what? Mum, no…"

"Don't go sticking your thing in every gal you come across-"

"Mum, I'm not having s-"

"cause I'm telling you, you'll impregnate one of them!" His throat was burning with embarrassment. Severus barely spoke to his Mother. But when he did, it was never a conversation like this.

"How much have you had to drink?" He asked, sniffing the alcohol in the air.

"Don't get involved with muggles either!" she warned, wagging her finger menacingly. "They're only trouble."

"Mother, I'll _never _fancy a muggle."

"Oh, I forgot," she said, staggering over to him, "my boy fancies the girl from up the street. What's her name?"

"You don't know anything…" he said hotly.

"Now, Severus, tell me what the little girl's name is." Her cackle was that of a true witch.

"Lily… but I don't-"

"Oh! Yes, Lily! The mudblood!"

"Don't use that word!" He shouted. She cackled again.

Severus began to walk away from her.

"Ay'!" she cried, "who says you can turn your back on me?"

"Mother," said Severus calmly. "Your drunk. You have been since Dad left."

Her face contorted in anger. "Don't speak of _him_, you stupid boy!"

"I'm stupid? Couldn't keep from getting knocked up by a muggle, could you, Mum?" He realized his mistake as his mother's hand swept across his face in one quick slap.

"Don't talk to _me_ like that, you ungrateful little prat!"

Severus was heading toward his room. His hand was on the silver doorknob when he decided against opening the door. He turned to her and spat, "Die alone, you ugly old hag."

She grabbed a handful of his hair, yanking him downward. "Who do you think you are? You begin hanging around some rich bitch and think you can talk to me like that?" Her voice rang in his head, along with the disgusting smell of her alcoholic breath.

"Where's your respect?" she shouted.

"With those who deserve it!" he shouted back.

"Stupid boy!" she repeated again. His body tightened. He wanted to push her hand away. He didn't.

"It's clear as day why Dad's run off… You stupid whore."

She let go of his hair, but only to slap him across the face again. He took the opportunity to turn away and escape to his room. She let him go, cursing him as he left.

He swung open his door with fury. He nearly choked when he saw Narcissa standing there beside his shoes, looking frightened. "I'm sorry," she began.

"Dammit, Narcissa. Why don't you ever write first?" he slammed the door shut and began to pace the room.

"I'm sorry," she repeated.

He couldn't reply. He just paced the room until his adrenalin ran out. Then he sat down on his bed, staring at the floor.

Narcissa sat beside him. Her gentle fingers tucked his hair behind his ear, and she examined his reddened cheek. Her arms made they're way around his shoulders. She kissed his temple.

"At least you weren't called a rich bitch."

Severus' lips twitched up in a small, pathetic smile, the kind of smile that would get teased by the other smiles in the courtyard.

"Do you want to come over for dinner?" she asked sweetly.

He nodded.

"Go wash up, then," she said. "I'll wait for you here."

Severus started a shower. The water thudded against the title, _splish-splash. _He hated his family. He really, truly did. _Splish-splash. _And he loved Narcissa, he was beginning to see. It wasn't the burning, aching desire sort of love he felt for Lily. It wasn't the I-dream-of-you-I-need-you-I'm-crazy-about-you sort of thing. But with the absence of Lily, Narcissa was the only friend he cared for, and he loved having her around. _Splish-splash. _He adjusted the temperature, shed his clothes, and walked in.

Sometimes, Severus played the rule of seer and tried to foresee the future. He might have done so out of boredom, out of wonder. But at that moment, he did it to escape the pain of present day.

He saw himself, far, far away from Spinner's End. Lily was there in his arms, happy and bright. Narcissa was buzzing about the background. He was at peace, feeling bliss.

But these visions were ruined by his skeptic mind. Lily evaporates from his arms. Narcissa is calling his name. He turns to see her blond head whipping about, struggling, because Malfoy is pulling her away. Then she's gone too. Severus is alone. The whole scene changes until he is standing in his own living room. His mother, drunk on the couch, is saying, 'I new you'd be back, Stupid Boy.'

Severus finished his shower, redressed, and walked back to his room. Narcissa stayed true to her word and remained there, stretched across his bed. She held the old bear Lily had given him in her arms. "Ello, Sevy" she said, wagging the bear like a puppet. "My name is Mr. Bearinton and I wuv you!"

He jogged over to her and attempted to snatch the bear from her grasp. She rolled over, giving him her back. Laughing, she held it out of his reach.

The bed screeched when he leaned onto it. He pulled Narcissa closer to him by the stomach. One arm pinned her against him, the other grabbed at the bear. They were laughing wildly now. His heart was pounding against her back. Finally, he yanked the bear into his possession.

Narcissa didn't mourn the loss. Still in his arm, she rolled onto her back. "you're hair got me wet!"

"Oh did it?" he said, just before shaking out his hair widely, drizzling her with tap water.

Her mouth was a giant 'O'. "I can't believe you just did that! I think I liked you better as a timid little boy."

"Did you really?" he said, his eyes gleaming.

"No." she replied, pulling him close enough to wipe her face with his robes. "These aren't the robes I bought you. Change into those. Hurry up; my parents'll be expecting us soon."

"How much of our little argument did you hear, anyway?" Severus asked as he pulled his body off of her. Perhaps she was now aware that he wasn't pureblood?

"I came in around 'old hag'," she said.

He nodded.

"By the way," she said, "my Mum really likes you. Make a good impression on Daddy too, okay?"

"I can only try," he huffed.

He remained in the pants he was already wearing. He pulled off his old robes, surprised at how okay he was with revealing his bare chest.

"I can't see you ribs anymore," Narcissa noted.

"You could se my rib cage before?" he asked.

"Well, I could feel it when I hugged you."

"That's sort of embarrassing," he said, pulling his robes over his head.

Narcissa shrugged.

"Narcissa?"

"Uh-huh?"

"I think you should take the poly juice tonight."

Her pleasant expression fell from her face.

"I've looked over it a hundred times!" he assured her, "it's perfectly safe."

"Okay, fine. Ready to go?"

He nodded and they left.


	11. Chapter 10

Severus found himself in the familiar Black kitchen. There were a number of people there.

First, he saw Narcissa's mother. She was standing with a familiar air of confidence that he'd seen in both Sirius and Narcissa. Her hair was tied back in a loose bun and her voice was booming. This gave Severus the idea that she was clearly boasting about something.

Severus believed that the woman she was talking to was Sirius' mother. They had the same eyes. He wanted to slap her across the face for giving birth to such a git.

A few feet behind them stood a tall, light haired man with a broad, handsome face. Narcissa's father? He was talking to Regulus Black, a Slytherin just a few grades below himself.

"Daddy's right over there. Go introduce yourself!" Narcissa murmured, pushing him forward.

Severus could feel his heart in his throat as he stepped forward. Mr. Black saw him approaching, and gave a questioning look.

"I'm Severus Snape…"

"Oh," he said, the uncertainness vanishing from his face. "Have you come to ask my permission to take my daughter to the ball?"

_No_, Severus thought, but he played along. "Yes, sir. I'd very much like to be Narcissa's escort."

"You know her from school, I presume?"

"Yes sir." He looked past Mr. Black's stern face for a moment, and noticed Regulus glaring at him.

"How are your O.W.L's?"

Severus smiled smugly, thankful for that question. "Alls O's, Sir."

"Impressive, _very _impressive, My Boy." It was the first time Severus had been called 'my boy' by anyone. "And I understand, by Regulus' rambling, that you're training for Seeker."

"I do not _ramble_," said Regulus hotly, "and I don't think you have much of a chance, Severus. You're speaking to the only third year to have played for they're house team last year."

"Oh, confrontation! How will you handle it, Severus?" Mr. Black asked, his eyes gleaming.

Severus addressed his classmate. "With all do respect, you had _no _competition last year."

"And I won't have any competition this year either," he said, slyly.

Severus cocked an eyebrow. "We'll have to see about that. Try to understand, Regulus, up the sleeves of these over-priced robes that Narcissa makes me wear are some tricks. I'd explain, but they're too complex for your simple 4th-year brain to understand."

"A threat?"

"Perhaps…"

"What do you say to a bit of scrimmaging after supper?" he asked. Severus was taken aback by his offer. He agreed none the less.

"_Wicked_," said Regulus, just before Mrs. Black called to everyone to take they're seats.

As Severus headed toward the table, Mr. Black leaned nearer to him. He whispered, "Be a good influence on him, wont you? Wouldn't want him to steer in the same direction as his brother…"

"Agreed, Sir."

Severus felt Narcissa's hand grip his unexpectedly. She led him to the table, where they sat side by side. The table was equip with beautiful, breakable china. The entire set probably cost more then his house, which made his muscles tighten as he use them.

"_Snape_, isn't it? I haven't heard of that wizard family before," said Sirius' mother.

"His father came to London for work, but he attended Durmstrange," said Narcissa, repeating the lie that Severus had said many times. "His mother is a Prince. Isn't that right, Sev?"

"That's entirely right." The words tasted foul in his mouth.

"Prince, you say? I believe I've heard of them," said Sirius' Mother.

"Did you know," began Mr. Black loudly, "that Severus here got all Outstandings on his O.?"

Severus fought to keep a blush from invading his face. "That's also right," he managed.

"That's impressive," said Mrs. Black.

"That's what I said!" her husband chimed.

Severus peered over at Narcissa. She was beaming, but Severus was still uncomfortable. He was thankful when the attention turned to Regulus.

"Where's your brother today, Reg?" asked Mrs. Black .

"He's out with James, that buddy of his."

She nodded, "And how is school?"

"Good, I suppose," he answered.

"What about you, Narcissa?"

"It's lovely, Mum. And I'm really looking forward to the upcoming school year," she replied, and Severus felt her hand slip into his beneath the table.

House elves arrived, carrying tray after tray. The trays floated onto the table, bringing with them the wonderful smell of mouthwatering foods. Then the lids lifted off and Severus beheld the plump, roasted turkeys and seasoned mashed potatoes, the golden brown bread, and stuffed olives, and corn. His face lit up.

Regulus, across the ta `ble, was thanking all of the house elves. All the others began shoveling food onto they're fancy plates. Narcissa was serving him, piling his plate high with everything. He smiled at her, surprised at how naturally it came.

Conversations continued. Most of it revolved around the upcoming ball, or the scandals among other pureblood families. Once, Mrs. Black mentioned the Malfoys. She looked over at Narcissa as she spoke, as if to say, 'are you sure you don't want to marry into that family instead?'

Finally, when his plate was clear, Severus thanked the Blacks multiple times. But after checking the clock, he felt he was exceeding his welcome. So he kissed Narcissa's hand and prepared to leave.

"Wait!" said Regulus. "What about Quiditch?"

"Oh," he said, after forgetting about his promise. "Erm- Reg, if you'd allow me to postpone the game until tomorrow, I promise that I'll show you a new skill that'll amaze you."

Regulus smiled with the left side of his mouth. "Okay, it's far too dark for a good game anyways. Tomorrow, then?"

"Tomorrow," he confirmed.

Severus found himself outside of his house shortly after. He looked at the pathetic site- broken windows and a dying flower garden. He hated the place, and he hated the woman living inside of it, so he decided to take a walk.

Severus walked down the familiar street, each step sounding loud in the quiet. The air was cool around him. He kept walking, fighting off exhaustion.

He considered that it'd be best for him to return home and sleep. He only had a few hours before he was meeting Narcissa. He knew he should rest. But then again, he knew a lot of things.

He knew that he would never get Lily back, even with his muscular arms and clean hair. He knew that his fellow Slytherins would hate him for refusing the Dark Mark when the time would come. He knew, though he hated to admit it, that once Narcissa was free of Malfoy she would be done with Severus. She'd have no use for him, and he would be completely alone.

He fallowed the familiar path until he was outside of Lily's beautiful, little house. He was caught off guard by how much he missed her. It had been a long summer, a lonely one. He never walked, barefoot, to the park with her. They never sat in the grass together. He never adored her as she twisted flowers into a crown, or read a book in the shade of the big oak tree. Now, standing outside of her home, Severus was hit with a rush of emotion. Had he really forgotten how much he loved her?

He looked up at her window. His heart fluttered. He could see her! She was brushing her lovely, dark red hair.

Severus felt himself becoming the awkward, greasy, little boy that he was a few months prior. He could feel himself losing progress. Because, to Lily, he was exactly the same and she was the only witch that mattered.


	12. Chapter 11

"Severus?" Narcissa whispered. "I'm coming out now."

Severus sat on Narcissa's bed, listening to her nervous voice. "Yes, yes. Just come out of the closet!" Narcissa let out a loud laugh, though Severus didn't get why.

The closet door slowly slid open. He had expected changes but still had to blink a dozen times before accepting it.

Narcissa Black had long, brown hair. She was no longer a blonde. She had the same thin, sexy legs, although now they were a light almond color. Her eyes weren't blue, but instead yellow and brown, like a sun rising behind a mountain.

"Wow, you look great."

She pouted, "I looked better before."

"Of course you did," he said comfortably, "but you look good now as well."

She stepped forward; combing her new hair with her fingers. "So, Severus, now you've been best friends with a blonde, a red head, and a brunette."

"I know," he said.

"And which was your favorite?" she asked, giving him a deadly stare.

"Am I in trouble if I don't say the blonde?" he asked lazily.

"Yes," she replied.

"In that case, no comment." Severus launched forward, as pair of hands shoved him in the shoulder. "Ow! That hurt!" he growled.

"Sorry!" she squeaked, "these arms are a lot stronger then my own"

He rolled his eyes. Then, he got up and faced her. "So, are you all set?"

"I still think there is something sick about flirting with my cousin," she mumbled.

"Would you rather flirt with Malfoy?"

"No," she said, pulling him into a tight hug.

Her arms, strapped around him, felt strong and athletic. She was a bit taller, and there was more space in the area where they're chests met. "I feel like I'm hugging a stranger," he said.

He could feel her shoulders rise and sink as she took a deep breath.

"So," he asked gently, "you ready now?"

She peeled her body off of his. "I'm ready," she said.

"Would you like me to come with you- perhaps hide in a bush?"

"No." She answered immediately. "I'll be fine. Plus, Regulus might cry if you don't show."

Severus moaned irritably. "I forgot. You know, I promised to play Quiditch with him _tomorrow._ Then, he saw me coming up here and badgered me til' I agreed to a game."

"You excited him with all that rubbish about _amazing tricks._" Severus smiled to himself. He did have some tricks, though he preferred not to share them with her, especially while she didn't look like herself.

"Okay," he said, "Good luck."

"You too."

With a bit of floo powder, she was gone. Severus made his way down the hall and found Regulus in the parlor. "Hi, Sev!" he said.

"Hi, Regulus. You have a wand?"

He nodded, pulling his wand from his robe's pocket. "Right here, but why? Will I need it?"

"Patience is a virtue," said Severus, sounding bored.

"To Hell with virtue! I want to know!"

Severus merely rolled his eyes and walked toward the court yard. Regulus was at his heels. "So, Sev-"

"I'd prefer you didn't call me that," he sneered.

"Oh, I get it. That's your's and Narcissa's boyfriend- girlfriend thing."

"We're not!" he began angrily. But Regulus cut in, "Let me finish."

"Go on…"

"So, _Severus_, I was thinking of trying out for Chaser. That way we can play on the same team." There was a bright, eagerness about him that reminded Severus of Lily when she was young.

He wasn't quite sure what to say. He managed, "S-sounds good."

Outside, the air was cool and there was no breeze- perfect weather for Quiditch. The yard was vast, surrounded by thick trees with sinewy branches. The field was lit by nothing but the moon and stars.

Regulus was mounting his broom, saying, "So, what were you going to show me?"

"Okay," said Severus, inhaling deeply. He rose into the air on his broom, "Let me get some momentum."

He grasped his wand firmly in one hand then zoomed through the air. Tears streamed from his eyes. The night turned to blur. He rose his wand hand up and the wind blew back his sleeves. Then, as he had attempted a hundred times, whispered the curse, "Leviousa Corpes," and jumped from his broom.

Severus hurdled to the ground, landing roughly on the wet grass. He rolled to his side, coughing spit and blood into the grass.

Regulus hurried over to him, "Hate to tell you, Mate, but that wasn't very impressive."

"I _know_ that, you imbecile," he growled, propping himself up on his elbows. "It didn't work right…"

"You want to go inside and clean up?" he asked.

"No," said Severus, standing up, "I want to try again." What ever Regulus replied, it was lost as Severus took off. He flew even faster, at his maximum speed. He could feel his arms buckling, and could taste the blood in his mouth, but he refused to disappoint a boy who looked up to him. After all, how often did a person look up to Severus Snape?

Air whipped past his face. He inhaled sharply, and then held up his wand once more. This time, he yelled. "Leviousa Corpes!"

He was weightless. Every limb felt hallow. He was gliding. The yard suddenly came into focus. He was flying, like a bird! He flapped his arms, and moved faster.

Regulus flew beside him, on a broom. "H-h-HOW? That's wicked… I- can you teach me?"

Severus was enjoying being weightless. He floated onto his back and glance sideways at Regulus. "Give away my secrets? Never!" He laughed. It even sounded foreign to him.

"Ah! C'mon! This is amazing! Teach me."

"Maybe when your older."

"Ah, Severus, please!"

"Are you going to keep badgering me?" he asked, "or are we going to play Quiditch?"

**Sorry for such a short chapter. More to come. I'm curious, in this Fic, who would you prefer to Sev to end up with? Narcissa? Lily? Or Nobody? **** plz review!**


	13. Chapter 12

Narcissa rubbed her eyes vigorously. There must have been some kind of spell that would allow her to cry on demand, she reasoned, though she knew she was too young to perform anything away from school. She looked like a wreck- messy hair, smeared make up. It only made her act more convincing.

She found Severus in the living room, playing a game of wizard chest with Regulus. One look at her and Severus said, "Regulus. You should get home."

"But we haven't finished our game yet?"

"We'll meet up later, Reg. Go home." Regulus seemed to get the point. He left.

Severus immediately went over to Narcissa. He put his hands on her shoulder, just as she begun to cry. "What happened? …Narcissa?" She wouldn't answer, only sob. "What'd Black do? Did he hurt you? I'll kill him."

Narcissa couldn't deny that she liked the defensiveness in his voice. She looked up at him, and lied to his face, "It went all wrong. He hates me. I offended him and he'll never talk to me again. I'll have to marry Malfoy! And- and I ruined everything." He hugged her, and she hugged back. She was proud of how buff his arms and chest felt. She'd have to tell him that later…

"What went wrong?"

"I-I offended, and he didn't seem in the least interested in the looks of that muggle."

"What'd you say?"

"I don't want to talk about it!" she wept. "But trust me, it was _bad_." She laid her forehead on his chest, and could hear his nervous heart beat.

"What did-"

"Sev! I really need you to shut your trap and comfort me!" She snapped.

"Okay, okay," he squeezed her. She imagined that she _wasn't_ using him, playing him like a pawn. She pictured them as the couple she made them out to be- the perfect couple. Real tears rolled down her cheeks. This wasn't just messing with a boy's head to get him to do her homework or help her study. This was far worse. She loved him, and she was ruining his life. He just didn't know it.

Regulus strolled into his house, and found his brother rummaging for food in the kitchen.

"Hey? Where have you been?" Sirius asked as he opened the giant cupboards.

"Over at Narcissa's house," he said.

"Has Andromeda come running home yet?" he asked.

"No."

"Good for her," he said, smiling to himself. "So why were you over there?"

"Playing some Quiditch," Regulus replied.

Sirius seemed to have found something that satisfied him- fresh baked cookies. He poured himself a glass of milk and sat at the large table. "Why didn't you just play here?" He gulped down some milk.

"I was playing with Snape."

Sirius spit a mouthful of milk back into the glass. Coughing, he said, "_Why?_"

"Because I wanted to, relax mate."

"We _hate _Severus Snape," he said, wiping his mouth on his sleeve.

"Speak for yourself. I really like Severus. He's amusingly clever and wicked at Quiditch. He can do this thing- I can't tell you, but, but I've never seen a skill better on a Quiditch field."

"HA!"

"I swear! You should tell Potter to watch out."

Sirius scoffed.

"You're just envious," Regulus replied, sitting at the table near his brother. "Because Slytherin is a shoe-in to win next year, once you see what he can do."

"Oh, your right. I'm shaking in my robes," Sirius mocked.

Regulus rolled his eyes, and then said, "You'll see once the season starts."

"Uh-huh. Sure, Reg."

Changing the subject, Regulus said, "Have you asked a girl to the ball yet?"

Sirius smiled, "Mary McDonald."

Regulus nodded, "I know her. She's cute."

"_Just_ cute? She's the definition of the word. I've spent the whole afternoon with her."

"Yeah, I guess so."

Lily could hear the phone ringing. She pulled herself out of bed, (so much for going to sleep early) and answered the whole. "Hello?"

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!"

"Hi, Mary. How are you?"

Lily could hear the sheer excitement in her friend's voice. She listened patiently, twirling the cord around her finger.

"Sirius came over today, and we walked around my town. Then guess what happened? He asked me to his aunt's ball!"

"That's wonderful, Mary. I've been meaning to tell you…"

"Tell me what?"

Lily inhaled deeply, ashamed at what she was about to admit. "I accepted James Potter's invitation to that ball."

"You did? That's great, we can all go together." Lily could picture Mary smiling. "I'm glad you finally decided to take his invitation. To be honest, I thought you were going to sulk over Snape all summer."

Lily frowned. "I wasn't _sulking_."

"Oh, Lily. You know that you were, just because of what he said…"

"It's not just that," she said tiredly, taking a seat at a chair near the phone. "It's that… I don't know."

Mary sounded strangely serous when she replied, "Lily, if your finally ready to talk about, you know you can always talk to me."

"It's just that, ever since I was a little kid, Severus was the one thing I could always count on. He was always right, always there, always _stationary. _Now that he's gone it's like… something's always missing."

"But you have to realize, you're so much better of with out him! He's like dead weight, just because it's always there doesn't mean it's needed."

Tears began to swell in Lily's eyes. She hated that Severus still had the power to make her cry, even though it had been months since they spoke last.

Mary went on to say, "Besides, it's clear as day what he's going to become, with those nasty friends of his."

"I know… but can you blame him for seeking friendship in that scum? After all, everyone decent has been mean to him for years. I can't help but think that he never had much of a choice." Lily couldn't believe she was defending him, after what he'd done to her. She was so terrible confused.

"People always have choices, Lily. He could have chosen you, but he chose the dark arts. James on the other hand, has clearly picked you. You should forget about Snivellus and have a good time at the ball."

"I'll try," Lily replied, wiping away the remnants of her tears. "Just try to remember that you never knew Severus the way I did. He was never a bad person, that's why I hate to see him become one."

"There's nothing you can do," she said, weakly, "He chose what he wanted."

"I know your right. Oh, Mary, I'm sorry to bring you down like this. I'm really happy for you. I know we'll all have a great time at the ball."

"We will, especially with dashing dates like Sirius and James. I'll talk to you tomorrow."

"Okay," said Lily, standing up. "I really am happy for you. Bye."

"Bye."

Lily hung up the phone and made her way back to her room. Her sister was out late with friends, so Lily went right back to bed. She dreamed that things could be different.

**Thanks for reading! Mrs. Black's ball scene is coming up next!!! Since I got such great feedback last time, I'll ask another question. Can you guys predict what Narcissa is feeling so guilty about? **


	14. Chapter 13

**Sorry for the late update! But here's a pretty juicy chapter for you! There's more ball scene to come. **

_The day of the ball? _It was the day of the ball, Severus realized. He was also quite aware that he'd be seeing his classmates for the first time in months. _Months!_ He would be showing them a completely different person. It must be hard, he thought, for Potter to imagine him with clean hair, muscles, and a hot date.

He was also extremely aware that this would, technically, be his first date. It was strange to think about. He was a bit excited. He, Severus Snape, would have the most beautiful girl at the ball on his arm, considering that Lily wouldn't be there.

He was just coming out of the shower, in nothing but a worn towel. Water dripped from his black hair and ran down his chest. He walked straight to his closet, and pulled out his dress robes. Severus had never been one for fashion, but those truly were beautiful robes. For a while, he just starred at them in admiration-- the silky red fabric and smooth black threading. Then, he pulled them on. They fit like a glove.

He combed out his hair. He was amazed at what a simple condition spell could do. His hair was sleek and smooth to the touch. When he was done, and his hair was beginning to dry, he walked into his restroom.

He could remember standing, months prior, in the very spot. He could remember what his reflection in the mirror had looked like- greasy, wimpy, an unloved cast-of thing.

He decided that it'd be an appropriate time to head to Narcissa's house. She had asked him to be early.

Severus walked merrily out into the hall.

"Are you going to that damn ball tonight?"

Severus turned sharply and saw his mother, in all her greasy, cranky glory. "Yes, Mum, it's tonight."

"Oh," she said. "You look- nice."

Severus felt his eyebrows rise. A complement from your mother was not a rare thing, unless you were Severus Snape. "Thanks."

"Make memories, Son," was all she said before she turned around to leave.

Severus checked himself one last time in the mirror in the living room, and then he happily flew to Narcissa's house. His hair had a little too much volume when he got there, so he patted it down and hurried inside.

The guests had not arrived yet, but the site of the empty Black Ballroom was spectacular. The ceiling was bewitched to look like it was growing taller whenever Severus gazed up at it for too long. Tables were set with brilliant blue table clothes and golden candle sticks and plates. (There was even golden _silver_ware, which Severus felt seemed a bit ironic.) The beautiful tables were placed around a large, oak wood dance floor. The air smelt, curiously, like pine.

"_There_ you are. I told you to be _early_!" Narcissa barked, and even through her anger, she looked ravishing. She was wearing her tight, red outfit that matched his. He wasn't sure if her clothes were robes or a dress. Either way, it was sexy. Her hair circled her face in thick, blonde curls. To match, she had a greek-inspired, red hair band that gently rapped around the top of her head, like a fallen halo.

"I _am _early, no one is here yet."

"Not early enough. But I forgive you, because you look wonderful." She smiled, and Severus hated himself a little bit less.

"You look nice too," he said, ackwardly.

"Just nice?"

"Beautiful," he said, "brilliant. Ravishing. Lovely…"

"That's better," she smiled again, and ushered me off to the dance floor. I was a bit confused, until she said, "I'm going to teach you how to dance."

She took my boney, dry hands. Her's felt cool to touch. "Why do you presume that I can't dance?"

She raised a slender eyebrow at me. "Well, Severus, _can you dance_?"

"erm- no."

She stepped forward, pressing herself against me. She led my hands to her waist, and then placed her own arms around my neck, holding me close. "This is how we slow dance…"

"I've got it," Severus said, pulling away.

She pouted at him, "I was just making sure you knew what to do."

"Well, I do."

30 minutes passed, and Lily stood beside her date, James Potter. She asked herself, for the millionth time, why she had agreed to go to the ball with him. She came to the conclusion that she must have been horribly ill or out of her mind when she had said 'yes'. None the less, she refused to ruin the evening. Her best friend, Mary, would be there. Even if James _was_ a bit of a prick, she still felt determine on having a good a time.

James knocked against the large oak door. It only took a second for it to come swinging open. At first, Lily's eyes were caught by the magnificence of the party inside. People danced, and laughed, wearing the most beautiful robes Lily had ever seen. Not that her dress robes were that bad. They were a lovely, light yellow color, tight on top, but flowy from the waist down.

She heard a squawky, little voice say, "Name?" She looked down at a small, skinny thing. Even by house elf standards, it was immensely thin.

"_Potter_," said James, proudly. He added, as if by second thought, "And my lovely date." He smiled at her in a way that might have made any other girl's heart melt.

The house elf stepped aside and said, "Welcome to the Black ball."

Lily felt James hook arms with her, and pull her swiftly inside. Lily dad thought the outside of the house was amazing, but it was nothing compared to it's interior. The ball room was about the size of her entire house. She wondered if it was enchanted, or simply really, _really_ big all the time. There were dozens of tables and hundreds of people. She was reminded immediately of her older sister's picture book about Cinderella.

"Prongs!" Lily saw Sirius Black quick walking toward them. Mary fallowed eagerly, and waved at Lily. "Prongs, jez, I thought you'd never show."

"I'm only a bit late," James argued.

"Why? Did it take you all day to style you're hair?" Sirius mocked.

Lily's attention was caught by Mary, who was smiling like she was on happy gas. "Lily, dear, I simply _need_ to talk to you!"

Lily turned to her date and said, "I'm going with Mary to the powder room. I'll meet you at our." He thought, _if I can find it. _

James nodded reluctantly. Lily hurried away with Mary at her side. Before she could say as much as 'how are you' Mary burst into a story.

"Oh, Lily! The night has just begun and I am entirely sure that it's the best night of my entire life. Sirius Black is… oh, his so handsome and lovely! He was showing me the garden, only just a short bit before you came, and he held my hand. I said the flowers were beautiful and he said, 'no, you are' and kissed me. _Kissed _me! Can you believe it? I kissed Sirius Black!"

Lily offered her friend a gentle smile. "That's wonderful, Mary"

"I know, isn't it? That means we're dating, right? If he asked me out and kissed me?"

"I suppose so, maybe," said Lily. She was looking around in aw at the scenery. Everything was gold and angelic. The ceiling appeared to stretch all the way to the stars. Lily wondered how a place so big could still be so crowded.

"Look, there's Alice!" Mary explained, "Whose that she's with? Longbottom? Hmm…" Lily could not see Alice through the endless sea of witches and wizards. "I'm going to tell Alice!" Mary exclaimed, and ran off.

Lily was left out of place and alone. Her mind told her to go to the table to meet James. So, she began to search for it. _He is at the fifth table,_ she thought, but she couldn't tell the fifth from the fifth hundred.

She decided the best thing to do was ask someone. She called out to a man in front of her, wearing shiny red robes. "Excuse me?"

He spun around in an instant, his black hair whipping the air… "Severus?"

He looked _so_ different, nearly unrecognizable. His shoulders were broad, instead of thin and slumped. His face was bright, and missing it's usually scowl. He filled out his robes perfectly with what looked like finely toned muscles. His hair looked good. His body looked good. He looked mind-boggling good. Lily was breathless.

"_Lily_?" His eyes, still as dark and intriguing as the depth of the ocean, stared at her in wonder. "Why are you here? I mean- I didn't think, considering your- I mean."

"I'm what?" she said, getting over her shock, "You didn't think I'd be invited, because I'm a _mudblood?_"

"No!" he said immediately. "I was going to say- you look beautiful."

Again, Lily was shocked. Severus giving out _compliments?_ What had changed him? And then she saw her answer when Narcissa Black came up from behind him. She was wearing an extremely short dress that matched his robes. Her hand was making circles on his shoulders.

"There you are, Sev," Narcissa said. Severus didn't reply, only starred at Lily. Narcissa fallowed his gaze and said, "Lily Evans? Why, don't you look nice?"

"You too," she mumbled. She hoped the confusion didn't show on her face.

"You're here with James Potter, am I right?" Lily nodded numbly. "Brilliant. We'll be at the same table for dinner." She smiled at her, like a hungry cat. "Until then," her hand slid up his shoulder until she was gripping his collar playfully, "Severus and I will be leaving." She tugged at his robes.

"I'll be seeing you-" Severus managed, before Narcissa pulled him away.

Lily blinked a few times. Then, James came beside her. "There you are! When Mary came and took her seat and you didn't- are you okay? You look like you just saw a ghost."

"You know, James, that expression doesn't work when you go to a school where ghosts float down the hall."

Severus felt suddenly Closter phobic. He couldn't be around people. He escaped out into the garden. The garden was bright with roses, lilies, sun flowers, lilies, trees, bushes, fountains, lilies, lilies, Lilys.

His legs felt weak. He sat down on the cool grass. The sun was beginning to set. His throat was dry. His eyes were not. James Potter? James _Bloody_ Potter? After all that happened, after all he did, said… Lily had accepted an invite from James Potter.

Severus tried to think rationally. After all, it was only one ball. But it was one ball with James Potter. His fingers curled into fists.

He wiped his eyes quickly. Narcissa had fallowed him out to the yard. She was now sitting on the grass beside him. "Hey, Sev-"

"I told you not to call me that!" he snapped at her. She chuckled, and took hold of his curled up hand. Lightly, she unraveled his fist.

"What's wrong?"

"Don't play dumb, Narcissa, even if that's an easy game for you."

"That hurts," she joked.

He scowled. "Oh, Severus, can you really still fancy her all that much?"

For the first time, he looked at her. His eyes seemed nearly murderous. "I don't think you understand. I don't just 'still fancy her'. I adore her. I need her, _want_ her, more then any thing or anyone else. She's the first person, ever, to throw me a line. With out her, I'd drown." His voice was unsteady.

"It's not that hard to get over a girl," Narcissa said softly, "all you have to do is find a new one."

"That's ridicules," said Severus immediately, turning away from her. He eyed a tree in the distance, one with a bee hive in it.

"Is it?" Her hands cupped his face, and pulled him toward her. She kissed him, and he didn't pull away.

Narcissa smelt sweet and fruity, like perfume. Her fingers weaved into his hair, and her breath was warm against his lips. He opened his mouth a small bit, and she took advantage of it. She kept nudging his tongue playfully with her own, urging him to play along. Finally, he did. He kissed back. Her mouth tasted good, and her body felt soft, so he hardly minded when she kept pulling him closer. Closer, closer, until he had flattened her against the grass. When he pulled away, she was giggling.

"Oh, Merlin," she gasped, "You're a good kisser, you know."

Severus rolled off her and sat up, starring at the tree with the hive. His head was pounding. It hurt like hell.

He felt Narcissa rubbing his shoulders. "Let's go back inside, kay, Bear?"

He nodded, stood up, and returned to the ball.


	15. Chapter 14

If one had asked Severus Snape how he felt about Narcissa Black, he would not answer for two reasons. 1) Severus Snape never shared his feelings with anybody. 2) He wasn't at all sure about Narcissa, about himself, or about anything, for that matter.

She was his friend, or so he assumed. If there was one thing he learned from his years with Lily, it was that friends, unfortunately, did not kiss friends.

His mind raced with questions as he was ushered back into the ball room. He barely spoke as Narcissa introduced him to hundreds of her closes friends that he just _had _to meet. Then, it was time for dinner.

He'd be damned if he wasn't placed at a table with James, Lily, Sirius, Sirius's chipmunk-like date, Regulus and his date, and of course, the happily-smiling Narcissa Black.

When all that was at the table was fancy plates and glasses of water, Regulus spoke. "Good evening, Severus! Have you met Delia Dawson?" He pointed an index finger at his date. She was an attractive brunette, the type of girl Severus would have never gotten in his younger years. "Nice to meet you."

"You too," she said, smiling, "Are you in Slytherin? I- erm- haven't seen you around before."

"Of course he's in Slytherin," said Narcissa, immediately. "Could you picture _me_ dating anyway who was not?" She laughed, as did Delia and Regulus nervously.

"What? What happened to all the other male Slytherins, then?" said Sirius, faking worry, "Did the DIE?"

Regulus said, "Of course not!"

"Then _why _on earth would you choose him?" Sirius, James, and the Chipmunk laughed at this. To Severus' delight, Lily only scolded.

"Oh, quiet _you_!" Narcissa playfully sneered. "Who is that you're with, anyway?"

"I-I'm Mary," she said politely.

"Nice to meet you," Narcissa replied, courteous as ever. Then, she turned her attention to Lily.

"How has you're summer been, Miss Evans?"

Lily knew that she could answer honestly in one word- miserable.

"It been going quite well, thank you," she replied, and took a sip of icy water from her glass.

Lily's head remained low as food arrived at the table. She eat calmly, though he r stomach felt sick. She was looking at Severus, saddened by how much better he was with out her. He was so elegant and refined, and even _polite_. She couldn't help but think that their years of friendship only brought out the worst in him.

But then she'd remember that he was going to become a Death Eater, that no matter what she tried, he'd chosen the Dark Arts. He wanted to be bad, she thought. No matter how nice he looked, his heart was as hateful as ever.

But then, too quickly, her emotions changed once again. This time, she felt only pity. Maybe his heart was hateful, but that was because no one ever taught him what love was. His family was horrid, and he had no friends beside her. And how could she show him what love was when she just _gave up_ on him?

"Lily?" James said, "You seem awfully quiet today."

"Well," she said, so only he could hear, "not all of us speak simply to adore the sound of our own voice."

James seemed hurt by this statement, but went on none the less. "Well, you don't need to talk if you don't want. We can just dance," and he smiled that arrogant smile of his.

Lily looked past James' smile and saw Narcissa, talking to Severus. "You've got a little something," she said, and dabbed her napkin against her tongue then rubbed it against the corner of his mouth. Lily frowned, he had nothing on his face.

"Okay, I'll dance with you," she finally said.

James shot out of his seat so fast that it made his head spin. "Great!" he said.

The two walked side by side to the dance floor, and swirled slowly to the music. James had his hand on the small of her back, and she wished he would have placed in higher. He was saying something, though she wasn't exactly listening.

"Lily?"

"Yes?"

"Did you hear what I said?" She shook her head: no. "Well, I was saying that maybe we could get together again before the summers through."

"Maybe…" she said, unable to keep the reluctance out of her voice.

James bit his lower lip. "Lily?"

"Yes?"

He looked awkward for a moment. "You and Snivellus-"

"_Severus_," she corrected.

"Yeah, _him. _You two weren't, I mean, you guys were never an item…"

Lily pulled away from him, reddening in anger. "No, of course not! He and I, we were friends, _just_ friends… and, and it's none of your business, James Potter." She muttered something about 'needing some water' and hurried away.

Heart throbbing, mind racing, she ran into the restroom. The bathroom was empty except for Regulus' date. What was her name? Oh, it didn't matter.

Lily went to the sink and looked her self over. She was a mess, and hated herself for agreeing to come to this event, and for being rude to James, and for still caring about Severus Snape…

"Are you all right?" the girl asked.

"I've just got a bit of a head ache, but I'm fine," she meekly replied.

"Oh, okay," she said. In the silence that spread between them, Lily remembered the Slytherin's name- Dalia. "Are you avoiding your date too?"

"What? No- well, sort of. What's so retched about Regulus?"

Delia rolled her eyes and looked at Lily, "He's cute and everything, but he _never_ stops talking."

Lily cracked a small smile, "Maybe by the end of the night, you can write his entire biography."

"I think I already can," she joked, "Let's see, he rode his first broom at seven, got his letter to Hogwarts at ten, he's got a love-hate relationship with his brother, and he adores Severus…"

Lily scoffed, an unfamiliar sound to her.

"Do you dislike Severus?" Dalia asked.

"I just don't think he's a very good role model, considering what he's planning on becoming…"

Dalia's pretty features were affected by confusion. "He was just telling us that the table that he was looking into internships at St. Mungus."

"St. Mungus?" said Lily, "The hospital?"

She nodded, "He said something about creating healing potions…"

"Really? Well, I have to, erm- go."

Lily left the bathroom. Her heat was pounding in her throat. Could it be true? Could he be choosing a different path? It was too good to be true. _Not true_, Lily thought, it _was_ too good to be true, _not true at all_….


	16. Chapter 16

Severus sat on the comfortable couch, all his limbs tired from dancing and walking. Narcissa's head fit comfortably between his neck and shoulder blade. He absent-mindedly stroked her blonde hair. And though he enjoyed the feeling of her warm body, his mind was on someone else entirely.

Lily had looked so beautiful, the contrast between her yellow dress and red hair, her glowing green eyes… She had not been on the dance floor long, and Severus was pleased to see she showed little interest in James. But the way she looked at him, her former friend- first wonder, than loathing, than wonder again. He simply did not understand.

All he knew was that he loved her just as much as he always did.

"What are you think about?" Narcissa asked, airily.

"I'm too tired to think," he lied.

"Did you have fun?"

"It was a nice party," he said, and this was the truth. It was a beautiful ball. It had come to an end and only the Blacks and their closes guests had stayed.

"Everyone seemed rather impressed by you. You're what my mum' had always wanted for me, a nice, smart, pure-blood wizard."

"What about Malfoy?" He asked.

"_Oh_," she said, pulling herself closer to him, "I think that she is satisfied with my own choice, for now."

It was silent for a long while. Severus was weighed down by guilt. This'd be his first romantic relationship, and it was being ruined by lies and secrets. He was no pureblood, but he couldn't bring himself to tell her now. Though he deeply cared for Narcissa, he'd choose Lily over her in a heartbeat.

"I can't believe it…" Narcissa drawled, "school begins in just a week!"

The seven days went by in a heartbeat, and Lily found herself on the train once again. She sat beside Alice, who was raving about her summer. "Frank Longbottom is the most amazing wizard alive," she said, smiling broadly. "And this'll be the best year ever!"

"You seemed to be getting quite familiar with him at the ball," Mary teased.

"Before that, actually. We've been seeing each other all summer long. He is simply the most dashing-"

Mary shook her head, "He's got nothing on the looks of Sirius."

"Looks aren't everything," Lily mumbled.

"But if they were," she said merrily, "who'd you want to date? I choose Sirius. You?"

"Frank." Alice answered immediately.

"What about you, Lily?" Mary asked.

Lily said nothing for a while.

"C'mon," Mary prodded, "Would it be James? Remus? Oh, what about Severus? He looked awfully good the other night…"

Lily's head snapped toward Mary's direction. "I thought Severus disgusted you?"

Mary shrugged. "He's rather attracted now. Surely _you_ noticed."

Lily felt the blood coloring her cheeks.

"Oh, leave her alone!" Alice said, "It clear this subject makes her uncomfortable."

Mary rounded on Alice. "You just want to turn the conversation back toward our summer, so you can talk about Frank some more, huh?"

Alice smiled as Mary laughed loudly. Lily starred out the window absently. She was thinking of someone and reminiscing about the way things use to be.

"But it was strange, wasn't it?" Lily mused, "Seeing him with Narcissa Black…"

"Stranger than strange," said Mary. "Do you think it was her who made him so… different?"

"Maybe he wants to be impressive," said Lily beneath her breath, "for his new Death Eater friends. Then again, that girl said that he said he wouldn't. Mary? What did you hear?"

"What was that?" she replied.

"I _said_, did you hear Severus say anything about employment at St. Mungos?" asked Lily.

Mary shook her head. "I didn't hear a thing. But I wasn't really paying much mind to him, not while I had Sirius beside me."

"You know, Lily," said Alice, kindly, "even if he did say something about that, it's not unlikely for a Death Eater to be employed elsewhere while still serving _Him_."

"How would you know?" said Mary.

"Frank is studying to be an Auror. I was thinking about that profession as well. You guys should think about it too. Especially you, Lily, with your grades in Defense Against the Dark Arts…"

"_and_ Potions," said Mary, "_and _Transfigurations _and _Muggle Studies, and, just about everything!"

"Cept' History of Magic," Lily mumbled.

"I'm serious!" said Alice, "There are so many wrong doers in the world. Wouldn't you love to be the one to send them to Azcaban?"

Lily was disturbed by a mental picture. She saw Severus, the way he always was- small, skinny, and battered, not the new buff one, but the Sev she'd grown up with. She imagined him curled on the prison floor. He'd was scowling, too proud to cry…

"Lily?" said Mary. "Are you okay?"

Lily nodded numbly. "Yes, I'm fine."

She wasn't fine.

Kali Ray was not the smallest wizard in the world, and she was not the shyest. However, she may have been the smallest, shyest, most timid creature in all of Hogwarts. She walked with the other first years, leaving the train. It was cold and windy. He little body shivered. She squinted he eyes and saw a very big man was ushering them in his direction. Just as she took a step forward, her new witch hat flew from her little head. She ran backward to find it.

And she did find the hat, in the hands of a bulky, older Slytherin boy with a mean scowl. "Is this _yours?_"

Kali nodded.

"Huh, huh, huh. Ya like this, do ya? It reminds me of that bitch Professor McGonagall." He threw the hat in the mud, and stomped thoroughly. Kali watched in horror. Soon tears spilt from her big, round eyes. She gasped in air, unable to keep back the nervous sobs. "Don't cry, ya baby!"

Suddenly, a hand clamped down on the Slytherin's shoulder. Another wizard, clearly older, also in green and black robes, appeared suddenly. "What do you think your doing, Kreenbeg?"

"S-snape? What happened to you?" Kreenbeg gaped at his older classmates.

"I don't like bullies," he said, intimidating. "Leave," he ordered. Kreenbeg shuffled away.

Kali watched the wizard in aw. He reached down and picked up her hat, then pointed his wand at it. "_Clensamente_," he said easily. With a quick _ping_ the hat was good as new. The wizard handed it to her.

"Severus?" A blonde girl in the distance called.

The slightest of smiles invaded his charming face. "Take care," he said to Kali. She watched him walk away.


	17. Chapter 17

Potions- Oh, the sound of poisonous brews hissing in their cauldrons, the smell of freshly cut squid spine, Phoenix tears, pumpkin seeds, and other bubbling concoctions, the promise of ingredients waiting to be chopped, and mixtures waiting to be stirred, and potions waiting to be created, never failed to please Severus as he walked into his classroom.

His body automatically turned in the direction of his familiar seat. The one in the back, sandwiched between where Lily sat, and a poster that read, "Can you brew it? Yes, you can!" But soon, Narcissa had her hand on his shoulder and was nudging him toward her Slytherin gang.

But he ceased in his steps when the professor yelled, "Halt! Halt! We'll be doing group projects today." Slughorn had been teaching potions for as long as Severus had attended Hogwarts. He was large (especially in the stomach area) and pink-faced. Severus could recognize his boisterous voice anywhere, and he knew his teaching style. Slughorn was big on 'group dynamics' and competition. Severus didn't mind acting competitively, but when in came to potions, he preferred to work alone.

"Welcome to your first N.E.W.T level Potions class. I thought I'd start you out with something tough today!"

Just at that moment, the door flew open. James Potter and Sirus Black came in, tripping over their robes, and looking as though they'd just waken a sleeping Ogre. James jerked his head, flipping his black hair in a fluent _swoosh_. Sirius was saying, "Sorry we're late, Professor. I'd explain, but that'd only add to the distraction we've created. Good thinking, huh?"

Slughorn rolled his eyes. "Okay boys…" Sirus and James walked further into the class, and took to standing beside their friend, Remus. The fourth in their group, Peter, wasn't in attendance. His grades must've been too low.

At their arrivals, Severus immediately felt uncomfortable. It had been bad enough, everyone noticing his improvements and acquiring about Narcissa. He hadn't enjoyed the attention, but at least he had the pleasure of avoiding Potter all day.

"As I was saying, we'll be doing something difficult. Each group of four will be required to brew a Scintillating Solution. Any one have any idea what that is?"

Severus waited, knowing exactly who would answer this question. A sweet memory drifted to his head. He and Lily were in the library, studying for their O.W.L's, back when they were friends. She was reviewing his potion notes. He was reading up on Dark Curses. They were sitting close, her arm barely brushing his. That was the kind of contact they had- slight, just enough for her to hardly notice and for him to go insane. 'The Scintillating Solution? What does that do?' She had asked. He explained. 'That's amazing! We should brew it. This summer, okay?'

"Anyone?" asked Slughorn. "Ah, Miss Evans."

Lily's clear, beautiful voice answered, "It gives the drinker enough knowledge and depth to know exactly what they want most." He daren't look in her direction.

"Very good! Let's see, you'll start group one. Lily Evans, Mary McDonald, Alic Dane, and… let's see, oh, and Severus Snape! I can't split up my favorite duo, can I?" He chuckled hardily.

Severus headed toward where his group was assembling. Narcissa held him back. He turned to face her. With out a word, she leaned forward and kissed him, her lips tasting like raspberry.

With that, Severus turned away. Lily sat beside Mary, making it a point to not look at him. He sat beside Alic, an intelligent Ravenclaw.

Alic said, "Should we begin?"

No one spoke, until Mary timidly asked, "Has anyone brewed this before?"

"I have," said Severus, "A while ago, during second year, I believe."

"_Second _year? That's impossible," Mary said.

_Perhaps for you, whose brain is poisoned by hair products, _he thought. But Severus bit the words back, trying, for time in his life, to be friendly and agreeable. 

"It's possible," said Lily in monotone.

"… Okay," said Alic, "shall we begin?"

Severus began immediately, taking ingredients in his hands without even opening the book.

"Don't you need to see the page?" asked Mary.

"No." Severus answered. "Not yet, at least…"

"I'd like to take part too, Severus. If you don't mind," said Lily, her voice harsh. Severus fought back a cringe; it'd been years since Lily had addressed him by his full name.

"Well, Lily, you may prepare the dragon's hide," said Severus, carefully.

Lily nodded and began to work immediately.

The hour stretched on in near silence. The potion was enticing, and Severus had to work to keep himself focused. But every time he'd notice Lily's gentle hair flips, or subtle sighs, it'd drive him crazy with sadness and longing. Whatever he had with Narcissa, it was nothing like this.

"So," Alic said, "you're seeing Narcissa Black, right Severus?"

He looked up, slightly annoyed by the distraction. "Yes, as of this summer."

Alic's voice was in a whisper, "How'd you manage that, Mate? I mean, _look_ at her. Have ya kissed her?"

Severus opened his mouth to answer, but was interrupter.

"What are you doing?" asked Lily. Severus looked up at her. "You're supposed to add the dragon _before_ you stir."

"No, it's like the Henderous Brew. Do you remember? If you mix between each step on the list, and then add a dash of adsorbing leafs…"

"But that was a _brew_, and a far less complicated potion. This is a solution, Sev... erus." She added the last bit quickly, as if as an afterthought.

"No, no, brews and solutions are only different in physical appearance and purpose. There the same, though, in chemical composition. It's like how the steps to brewing a Swelling Solution are nearly identical to that of a Love Potion."

"You've made a Love Potion before?" asked Mary, amazed.

"So _that's _why Narcissa fancies you?" Alic joked. Everyone laughed, and Severus felt the need to hex something.

Across the room, Narcissa was watching as Remus poured an unidentifiable liquid into their cauldron.

"Don't spill, Mony," James said, but something in his smile gave Narcissa the idea that he wanted that very thing to happen.

Narcissa had been placed in the worst group imaginable, with 3 gooney Gryffindors. For a while, she just watched as they did work, twirling her quill between her fingers. But quietness bored her, and she eventually said, "So, cousin. How are things in your household?"

"Don't call me _cousin_!" said Sirius, waving a spoon dramatically. "I refuse to be considered apart of the same family as anyone who dates a greaseball like Snivellus."

Narcissa shot him a poisonous stare. "I happen to like him, a lot. And if you havn't noticed, his hair isn't even greasy anymore."

"Once a slime ball, always a slime ball. Right, men?" said James. Sirius agreed audibly.

"Will _somebody_ assist me on this?" Remus asked, rather than answer James' question.

"I will," said Narcissa absently. Then they finished their potion.


	18. Chapter 18

**Lots of cute Lily/Sev flashbacks that are always fun to write **** Review? **

The potion was nearly complete when Mary said, "Some one ought to test it."

Lily stared at the cauldron, which admitted a misty green smoke. She knew what it could do- Scintillating Solution could make her see what she wanted most. Lily deeply feared this insight. What if what the potion showed her, wasn't what she wanted to see?

"I'll try it," said Severus , plainly. "But I'm already quite sure what'll come to mind."

"Narcissa, naked in your bed?" Alic joked, but he was silenced when Severus shot him a poisonous look. Lily watched as he slowly lifted a spoonful to his lips. He drank it, grimaced, and then put the spoon down quietly on the table.

At the next moment, his face could have been made of stone. The others couldn't tell if he was in peaceful bliss or burning agony. He looked neither mad nor sad nor angry- he just looked like Severus.

"Is it working?" Mary whispered.

Though Lily was not the one who asked, the answer was directed right to her. "Yes, it works." His dark eyes seemed to be looking through her. His glaze-like stare made her head buzz with questions. Was this was his way of telling her that he wanted to be a Death Eater, and that there was nothing she could do to change it? Or was he portraying the opposite?

"Are you sure?" said Alic. "It didn't do much…"

"You try it then," he said, pushing the cauldron over. After a moment of hesitation, Alic sipped a spoonful of potion. He started gagging immediately.

"I want to try too," said Mary, and she too took a sip. Feeling Severus' eyes still on her, Lily grabbed the spoon. When she sipped, it tasted like warm, watery milk. She closed her eyes immediately and swallowed.

The potion filled her body with warmth, the way a good hug or hot bath might. All she saw was darkness before an image came to mind. At first, she saw only the playground near her house, except, it was so much bigger. The trees towered over her head, and she'd have to go on her tip toes to reach the swing seat. She then thought that she was seeing the playground as it was when she was much younger. The realization hit her like a wave. Before she could do much in response, she felt a tap on her shoulder. She turned around to see an adorable nine-year-old Severus. "_Lily-Flower," _he said, smiling. She had forgotten about that old nick-name. "_Hi, Sev-Bear,"_ she heard herself reply. _"Are you eager?" _he asked, _"One week left of summer!" _His eyes sparkled in the way they never did as an older wizard. Lily replied, _"I'm nervous. Tuney says I'll be so different, because I'm not like you. Not really…" _Lily remembered having said the words as they came from her mouth. Severus said, "_You are like me, except better." _She took a step forward. "_Promise you won't leave me when we get there?" _She held out her little pinky. He covered it with his own. "_I'd never ever leave you, Lily-Flower. Never!" _As their small hands parted, she said. "_I know, Sev. We'll be friends forever."_

When Lily opened her eyes, the images were gone. She saw Severus- new, and strong, and independent. Her eyes stung with tears and her heart pounded fiercely. "Slughorn, Sir?" she called. "May I be excused to the restroom?" Before Slughorn finished his sentence, she was out the door.

She hadn't cried over Severus in a month, yet, the tears wouldn't cease. Her choking sobs filled the bathroom stalls that she had retreated into. She was less then enjoying her privacy when the door swung open.

A Hufflepuff girl trotted into the room. She had huge, round glasses and puffy blonde hair. Lily recognized her as the witch who'd ridden the train home with her and her friends last year.

Lily wiped her tears immediately.

"Were you crying?" Sybill Trelawney asked. Lily gave no reply. "It's okay," Sybill went on to say, "Tears cleanse the soul."

Lily looked up at the new arrival. In a second, Sybill's expression changed to that of pure fury. She spoke, her voice deep and growling, abnormally quickly. Lily barely understood.

"_He is destined to be deceived , by she who keeps daggers hidden up her sleeves. And when that day dost come, he can be comforted by only one. But that person will fail him too. There is only one thing left for him to do. Desperate and foolish is his move, but beneficial it might soon prove. "_

Lily only starred until Trelawney blinked her bug eyes a few times and said, "I'm sorry, what were we conversing over?" Lily's throat felt narrow, she couldn't speak. _destined to be deceived… _She ran from the bathroom. _He can be comforted by only one… _Her head pounded fiercely… _There is only one thing left… _Lily made her way to her empty room… _beneficial it might soon prove. _

Lily had never heard a prophecy before.

Sitting on her bed, she could only decipher that this was all about Severus. Reluctantly, she thought of him, and could do nothing to prevent the tears from spilling down her cheeks.

She thought immediately of the first day she befriended him. She had had an argument with Petunia over a subject that she could no longer recall. She only remembered walking angrily to the park, and that it was strikingly hot out. But she forgot both of these troubles, because a small boy was lying passed-out on the grass. She had knelt down beside him and nudged his boney shoulder.

"Hello?" she had said, "A-are you okay." She had recognized him the crazy boy who her sister had warned her never to talk to. He was wearing the same strange smock and short jeans, and his black hair shun in the light.

Lily panicked when the boy didn't respond to her. So she ran off to get her mum. Her mum drove to the park, and Lily showed her the spot where the boy was. Lily shook him again. This time, he wearily rose. He looked from Lily to Mrs. Evans several times, an expression of apparent confusion on his face.

"Are you alright?" Lily asked.

He nodded his head, lost for words.

"When was the last time you had something to eat?" asked her mum, her voice sounded concerned.

He shrugged, "I dunno, the day before yesterday."

Lily gasped a bit, but her mum went on to say, "Where do you live?"

The boy looked at her with a scowl, and Lily thought he wasn't going to tell her.

"Up at Spinners End," said Lily. Her mother asked the boy if his parents were home.

"No, Ma'am," he replied, sheepishly. Lily had a feeling that they were there, but he certainly didn't want to go to them.

"Well," said he mum, "you probably passed out because of malnutrition. Three days is an awfully long time to go with out eating."

"Can he eat with us?" Lily had asked. She remembered sitting with him at the kitchen table.

"My name's Lily. What's yours?"

"Severus Snape," he replied, swinging his feet beneath the table.

"That's a strange name," Lily said, but at seeing his hurt expression, added "but I like it."

Mrs. Evans had brought the kids peanut butter sandwiches. Severus devoured it in a series of large bites, and washed it down with his glass of apple juice.

"You must really like peanut butter," she said.

"Never had it before today," he said.

"You've _never_ had peanut butter?"

He shook his head. "Mother doesn't buy it."

"Well then," said Lily, getting up and grabbing the jar, "You can have this."

Severus took the jar of peanut butter with a huge smile on his face. "Thank you, Lily."

"I have a yellow canary upstairs. You want to see?" Happily, the two walked up the stair case and stood in front of a golden bird cage. "I didn't really want to show you the bird," Lily confessed, "I wanted to get away from my mum and- and ask you if… if what you said before is true."

He looked right at her, and Lily noticed for the first time how beautiful his black eyes were. "I swear," he said slowly, "that you're a witch, and I'm a wizard." With that, the bird fluttering behind him turned from yellow, to pink, to yellow again.

"Did you do that?" said Lily, amazed.

"No," he said, "I think you did."

Lily's sorrowful reminiscing was interrupted when Alice walked in. "Are alright, Lily? You left class and didn't return."

Alice had taken over the possession of friend-she-could-tell-anything-to. "When I took the potion, it showed me that the one thing I wanted most was to have Severus back."  
Alice came forward and sat beside Lily on the bed. "Well, he'd take you back in a heart-beat, you know."

"I know that!" said Lily, "That's what makes it so hard."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean that- if, say, he's completely happy with Narcissa and doesn't want me, than at least I know that he doesn't care that I don't need to care either. But he still looks at me the same way he always has…"

"Which is…" Alice asked.

"He looks at me like he needs me, like I'm the one thing that's ever made him happy, and that makes complete sense if you understand what he comes from." Lily had reached a point where she felt too sad to cry, like her tears had run out. She felt like it had rained for so long that the only thing left to do was drown.

"Where he comes from? I thought he lived near you…"

"That's not what I meant," said Lily, "His parents, there horrible. They neglected him, beat him, cursed him. So all he ever wanted was to escape to Hogwarts, to take refuge somewhere magical, peaceful, somewhere he could excel. And you know what? He came here and all he got was neglected, cursed, and beaten some more. And I hate that. I _hate_ that he has to go through that. So I gave him love that nobody else would, that's what he needed from me... Once, in the summer, when we were both kids… I- I mean, _he_ was sleeping over and was asleep on the living room floor, and he kept saying my name in his sleep. He sounded scared, or worried, or frightened. So, I woke him up and held him… But now things are different and we're not little kids anymore. But- but I still want to wake him and hold him when he has nightmares."

Lily realized that she sounded stupid, but had stopped caring.

"Well," said Alice, "Why don't you just be his friend again?"

"Because," she said simply, "I failed him, and he failed me. I refuse to stand by, holding his hand, as he becomes a Death Eater. You try watching some one you love make a huge mistake. Maybe, if he had different friends and better influences, than things would be different…"

Meanwhile, hidden beneath an invisibility cloak, James and Sirius heard every word.


	19. Chapter 19

"I dunno, James," sa id Remus, thoughtfully. He had just heard his friend's exuberant tale, how they followed Lily out of class and listened as she spoke about Severus.

"What do you mean you don't know? You _always_ know about this kinda stuff!" cried James.

"What do _you_ think, Wormtail?" asked Remus, turning everyone's attention to the fourth in the group. Peter bit his lower lip with his large, yellowing front teeth. He looked ludicrously rat-like. Before he spoke a word, Sirius cut in, "Why are you asking Peter? _He_ couldn't tell the difference between butterbeer and dragon piss!"

"That was only once…" Peter mumbled.

James was still focused on his wiser friend. "c'mon, Remus. I want to hear what _you_ think, _you're _the intelligent one!"

"I'm flattered, really I am," he said with heavy sarcasm in his tone, "but I don't think you want to hear what I have to say, Mate."

"Tell ME!" James roared, shaking Remus by the shoulders. Remus' glasses slid down his nose, making him go cross eyed for a moment.

"Okay, okay," he said, and James released his hold. "I think she loves him."

"_What_?" said the three other Gryffindors at once.

"Listen, there's no denying that whatever those two have between them is strong. And it makes sense, from what you said. She wants to still have him, and hates to see him put himself in harm's way."

"Then why would she end their friendship?" Peter asked.

"Maybe she thinks he's a lost cause. Maybe she thinks staying with him will hurt her more than being apart."

"W-what?" cried James. "You think that she secretly _loves _Snivellus?"

"I didn't say she was keeping it a secret. I think that she doesn't know herself. I dunno! That's just what I think!"

The boys sat a while in silence, contemplating Remus' words.

Meanwhile, Severus was standing outside of the library, tapping his foot with an annoyed impatience. He scowled down the hall, then into the library, then down the hall once more. He was waiting for Regulus. Severus checked his pocket watch, only to find that his friend was nearly 20 minutes late. What was wrong with the Black family and time management?

He heard voices rounding the hall. Though they sounded too high to belong to Regulus, Severus looked up none the less. He saw a group of tiny, female, Gryffindor first years, flocked together like a school of guppies. They shuffled toward him.

Severus tried to ignore the girls, until they were practically under his nose.

"Can I help you?" he asked, only to be answered by a chorus of giggles.

"Go on, Kali," one said. A small, frail-looking creature made her way to the front of the group. She looked up at him, clearly nervous. Severus found a hint of admiration in her eyes. She held something rapped in tin foil. "T-These are for you…"

She handed him the plate, Severus smelt chocolate. "For me?"

"Yes. Err- there chocolate chip cookies that me mum sent. Everyone says that not even House Elves can be bake better. F-for sending off those Slytherins the other d-day."

Severus remembered then. "Erm- thank you, or, err- your welcome. Any time." They girls giggled again, giving him a reason to feel uneasy. If these were admirers, he didn't see why Potter loved them so much.

"If there's anything else we can do for you?" said another first year, a more bold one.

"No," said Severus, but then a brilliant thought came into his Slytherin mind. "Well, actually, do you know a sixth year named Lily Evans?"

There faces fell, but they still replied with a hesitant 'yes'.

"Would you mind, perhaps, mention this to her?" Severus asked. "Slyly, of course, but just letting her know that I'm… just tell her, alright?"

"Okay," said the girls. Severus let out a breath that he wasn't aware he had been holding in.

Suddenly, a hand clamped down on his shoulder. "What are you up to, Mate?"

"Regelus, you're impeccably tardy!" Severus turned around to see his friend, he wore a sly smile and several blades of grass seemed caught in his black hair.

"Sorry, but you should'a seen the girl I was just snogging-"

"Reg!" Severus cut in, flicking his thumb at the first years.

"Oh," he replied, "what are they doing there?"

"I'll tell you later," he said, "we're late."

"Late for what?" asked the bold one, evidently trying to keep Severus from leaving.

"Team tryouts," Regulus explained.

Severus walked away before the first years could say much more. Regulus caught up with him as he reached the staircase.

"What was all that about?" Regulus asked, as he jogged down the steps.

"I don't know… they fancy me, I suppose."

Regulus laughed so hard he nearly fell. "Severus, you've got yourself a fan club. It's okay, I've got plenty myself …"

The two walked at a quick pace out onto the Quiditch field. There was a number of other Slytherins already assembled there. The captain, Rictor Vale, was flying in circles around the group. They seemed to have arrived just in time, for the moment they reached the others, Rictor shouted, "All righ'! les' see if any of ya motley, dung-brains are capable of playing some Quiditch."

All at once, they rose into the air. Some did so elegantly and naturally, other shaky and unsure. One 3rd year shot off the ground so fast and eagerly that he nearly fell from his broom. All his classmates laughed and mocked him.

"ENOUGH!" Rictor cried, and the Slytherins fell silent. "Les' get a lap, twice around the field. If ya fall off yer broom, don' even bother get'n back up! GO!"

"_Race ya_," whispered Regulus, and the two took off with immense speed. Severus easily took lead of the group. But Regulus was unsatisfied with second place; he flew diagonally, cutting Severus off."Hey!" he cried, as he worked to steadily himself. "Cheater!" Severus felt, rather then saw, Regulus smirking. He leaned forward on his broom (which was actually Regulus' old one). His knuckles were white from his tight hold, and in an instant he pulled ahead of Regulus. Severus heard some curse words coming from behind him. He twitched his head back in time to see Regulus preparing to cut him off again. Laughing, he flew a head of his friends attempt at sabotage, and kept his lead until they ended their second lap.

Tryouts were filled with more races, drills, and scrimmages. He chased after the snitch several times, and was only embarrassed once when got knocked off balance by a high speeding buldger.

By the end of the day, Severus was tired, sore, and extremely proud of himself. A year or so ago he'd have stood no chance of making the team. Now, he was as much soaked in confidence as he was sweat.

Severus met Narcissa as he walked out of the locker room.

"Hey there," she said, diving into a hug instead of waiting for a response. Her head tucked in the crook of his shoulder, she asked, "How'd you do?"

"Good, I expect."

"So, those lessons with Adolph were worth it, weren't they?" Narcissa acquired.

"I suppose so," Severus admitted reluctantly.

Hand in hand, the two Slytherins headed off to the common room.


	20. Chapter 20

_I'M SORRY FOR THE LATE UPDATE AND SHORT CHAPTER! I'M JUST ENDING SCHOOL AND FINALES ARE A PAIN! PLUS I'M HAVING CUMPUTER PROBLEMS! BUT THE UPCOMING CHAPTERS WILL BE GOOD ONES, I PROMISE! PLEASE REVEIW AND ENJOY! _

Lily had received a letter from her older sister. It was the first in many, many years. At seeing the delivery owl- a snowy, beautiful, white creation- fly near her at breakfast that morning, she was filled with curiosity. Not many people wrote to her, only her parents on tuesday, but it was a thursday. For a moment, she feared that there must have been a hishap. When the owl dropped the letter down before her (narrowly missing her oatmeal) she grabbed at it immediatly. She tore open the envolope so fast that she had ignored the bird, who was still waiting for it's pay. It cawed at her in annoyance. Lily realized she must pay the delivery owl. She dug into her empty pockets and felt only warm fabric.

"Mary, do you have a spare sickle?" Lily aquired. Mary bit into a juicy grapefruit and shook her head 'no'. "What about you Alice?" Alice said she had only enough to pay for her copy of the prophet.

"ah, Hell," Lily whispered. "Who was stupid enough to send an owl without paying first?"

"A muggle," Sirius barked, coming up to them. "I like them and all, but sometimes they're dumb as a post!"

"You would know," said Remus, following close behind. Peter, who was between the two wizards, laughed obnixously. Sirius jammed his elbow into Peters rib's, ending the laughter immediatly.

"_Hey_," said Peter, "What was that for, I'm not the one who said it?"

But Peter got no reply, for at that moment James, who was on the other side of his violent best friend, spoke.

"What's the problem, Evans?"

"Nothing that requires your assistance, I assure you," said Lily, searching through her bag.

"She needs a sickle," said Mary, who's lips were stained pink with grapefruit juice.

"I've got one!" James said eagerly.

Lily had no desire to take money from James. She simply stared at the coin and declined.

"C'mon," he said, "just take it."

"It's alright," said LIly. The owl cawed again and dug it's talins into the table. "Fine." He tossed it her way, "_Thank you." _

LIly tore at the letter again, and gasped when she saw who it was from.

**My dearest sister, **

** It has been a while since I last wrote to you, I'm well aware, but I wanted to inform you of something. I have found the nicest boy! His name is Vernon, and he goes to the Catholic school up the street, Saint Darcies. His family is very respectable and his looks can not be compared to that of any one else in the area. He says he is very well liked at his school, and that the only people who do not like him are the ones that are intimidated by him or jelouse of him. He informs me that the boys there are very envious. With good reason! He has a great deal of wealth, you now. We met at the market and have been going out reguarly for three entire weeks.**

** I'm telling you this, not to brag, but instead to encourage you to fallow my example. Meet a nice, well-off boy early, and you will be happier with him then with any one in that strange school of yours. **

** - PETUNIA. **

Lily looked at the letter for several seconds before decideding that it was rubbish. She knew her sister well, and was sure that the only reason she would write those words was to try to make LIly feel jelouse. Lily felt nothing of the sort. She was genuinly happy for her sister. Lily was through being upset over little things like letters from Petunia. She was even mellow enough to forgive Jamese of his pride. Glancing over at him and thinking of the sickle, she decided it wasn't worth it to be mad. And, looking across the room, she saw Severus. He was sitting so comfortably, his back erect with confidence. He spoke with those around him, and Lily only saw glimpes of the shy, akward boy she once new. In that moment, she decided to forgive him too.

This didn't mean that she would ever be his friend again, or that she would finaly agree to go out with James. She wasn't even planning on returning Petunia's letter. But Lily decided to be done being mad, at anyone.


	21. Chapter 21

"Snape?" Grumbled Rictor Vale. "Give me moment, would ya?"

Severus looked up from his book and saw the Slytherin 7th year starring down at him. He was momentarily shocked to find _him_ in the library, but he supposed even Quiditch addicts had to study too. He slammed down _1000 Tips to Potion Making_, and said, "Yes?"

Victor's voice was a whisper, "Do think you could help me out?" He looked greedily at Severus' potion book.

"You need tutoring?" Severus asked, confused.

"Don't play dumb with me!" Victor growled. His fist slammed down onto the table. "I want some of whatever' yer taking to make yerself so big. What is it, a potion? An elixir? Tell me, Snape!" "

At being affronted in such a way, Snape went back to his former scowl. "For your information, Vale, I have no such elixir and have obtained this muscle the natural way."

Victor inspected his housemate. He studied him for a moment then asked, "Yer telling me the truth?"

"I'd unbreakably vow to it," Severus smirked.

"Alright," said Victor, turning to leave the library. "Oh," he added, before he reached the door, "Practice is next Tuesday, Seeker."

Severus' legs felt like they were pulsing with energy, like he'd just been struck by lightning. He nearly ran down the hall to the Dungeons. He couldn't wait to tell Narcissa. He wanted to share his excitement.

In the back of his head, a snide little voice reminded him that he had _hated_ Quiditch a year prior. But he told that voice to go to the Hell and rushed around the corner.

There was a quick crash. Severus saw a flash of dark red and heard quills and books scattering against the ground.

"Lily? I'm so sorry," he dropped to the floor immediately to pick up all that he had caused her to drop.

"It's fine," she said, collecting some quills.

Severus looked up at her, and met her eyes for the first time in a long while. "Hi," he said.

"In a rush?" she joked. It had been the first time in a long while that she addressed without resentment.

"I was just looking for Nar…" he faded away, not whishing to talk about that witch, "I made the Quiditch team."

"Congratulations." The friendly smile she offered made his heart melt.

"Where are you going?" Severus asked after a short silence.

They stood up in unison. "I was on my way to Professor Nickle's class…"

"Can I walk you there?" he asked, before the sad realization hit him that she was bound to say no.

But Lily Evans, ever so full of surprises, said, "Okay."

The two walked together in near silence. They spoke only once or twice. She asked him about his summer.

"It was bearable; I met a lot of new people and got a lot of exercise. Erm- How's you're family?"

"Petunia's awfully happy," Lily said, smiling inwardly. "And Mum and Dad are good too."

"So all is well? That's good."

"Yupp…" she said.

Finally, Severus sheepishly asked, "So, you aren't mad at me anymore?"

He watched her think of her response. She bit down on her bottom lip. That was a new habit, he observed, she had never done that before.

"It's like this," Lily said, quietly, "When two dragons fight, they both get burned." Severus said nothing, so she continued, "I'd rather be… detached. I'd rather sit back and let you, just another Slytherin, do what ever Slytherins do. I don't _care_ enough to be mad."

Severus starred down at his feet, feeling as though any happiness he had was drained from him. He decided that her being indifferent to him was worse then anger. Trying hard to keep his voice level, he said, "But how… how can you just decided who you care about?" He looked up at her, all seriousness in his tone. "I've never been able to choose who I love or hate." _Love_, how foreign the word tasted coming from him. He went on, "So even if you don't give a fuck, then fine. But don't assume that I'm going to hurt you, Lily."

"_Assume?_" She cried, loud enough to make Severus stop walking and stare at her. "I've never… You've proved that you can hurt me! You have! Don't pretend I'm being prejudice… I'm just thinking of myself, and not you, for once."

"Thinking of _me_?" He shot back. "You were sure thinking of me when you went with Potter to the ball, or when you practically ignored me all of last year!"

"Who I associate with is none of your concern, and I wasn't ignoring you, I just didn't want to be around those freaky friends of yours!"

"But I'm hardly friends with them anymore," Severus sputtered, hopelessly.

"It doesn't matter," Lily's voice was small again. Her head hung low, as though she was ashamed of her outburst. "Don't you see, Sev? You've chosen your way…"

Severus, however, had not calmed. He shouted, "There you go, assuming again! Do you know what I was planning on doing with my life? Do you?"

Lily opened her mouth to say something, but closed it again.

"I wanted to brew for St. Mungus patients. I wanted to make potions for the sick. Is that such a crime?" They stared at each other in silence. He could see tears forming in her awe-struck eyes. He felt horrible for being the cause of them, but he couldn't stop. "Hard to believe, isn't it? That me, a _Slytherin,_ could be a bloody decent man? Why are you crying? You don't care about me, remember? You gave up on me, can't you recall?"

"Shut up!" she said.

"Why should I?" He growled.

"Because you're an asshole," she said, "You're not an asshole because you're in Slytherin, you're an asshole because you're an asshole." She was walking away from him now, but Severus hurried to catch up. He got to her in time to hear her say, "Talking to you was a huge mistake. You're a huge mistake… I didn't want to get burnt, but I got set ablaze!"

As tears seeped from her eyes, Severus' madness at her was overpowered by his anger at himself. "But- but what if I could be a peaceful dragon?" He pleaded.

"Look at the world, Sev, look at the greed, the hatred, the war! We're all just hot-headed dragons, destined to hurt each other sooner or later. And you- you're a Hungarian Horntail."

With that, she sped angrily away.

Severus went straight to the dormitories. He didn't spare a moment to tell anyone about Quidith, because accomplishments didn't matter. In reality, men are noticed for they're failures far more often.

He ignored all his homework and books, and lay on his bed. He starred up at the dark dungeon ceilings. For a moment, he wondered how things would be if he and Lily had been placed in the same house. Then he laughed at the thought of him sharing a dormitory with Potter and Pettigrew, but it was a strange, demented laugh that nearly made him break into sobs. He might have cried all night if he hadn't bit his bottom lip hard enough to draw blood. The bite hurt, but what hurt more was the thought of how beautifully Slytherin green would bring out Lily's eyes.

There was the screeching sound of doors opening as Narcissa came into the room. "Heard you made the-"

"_This is the boys' dormitory," _Severus cut in.

"Ouch," she said, "What's wrong with you?" She looked at her boyfriend, now curled up on his bed. She came forward and sat beside him. "Are you crying?"

He turned his back to her immediately. "No."

Narcissa watched as he tried to wipe away the dampness under his eyes. She sighed audibly and cupped his face in her hands. Gently, she led his head onto her lap and stroked his hair. He seemed too concentrated on thinking to protest.

"What happened?" she asked, gently.

He said nothing for a long time. When he spoke, his voice was as calm as ever. "I bumped into Lily in the hall. She was perfect, she was sweet, and when I asked her if she'd forgiven me… She basically said she didn't give an Owl's ass about me."

"Sev-"

"And I know you don't see it, I know no one in this bloody house see's why I fancy her… I'm starting to question why I was even sorted here at all."

Narcissa's hand made its way to his chest, and now rubbed it soothing. "Do you _dislike_ being a Slytherin?"

"I dislike being different," he replied.

"You're not different." He had begun to close his eyes, block off all the light and all his vision and everything else.

"I am different," he mumbled.

"You're not," she protested. He had wrapped his arms around her waist, holding her like he would a pillow.

"I am. I- I don't wish to serve You-Know-Who anymore, I love Muggleborns, I'm half-blood…"

Narcissa stood up so fast that Severus rolled off the bed and landed on the hard floors with a _thunk_. "Y-YOU'RE WHAT?" She cried, loud enough for half the castle to here her.


	22. Chapter 22

**Hey guys, the summer means quicker update! **** Several more chapters to come. Please review. **

"You're what?" Narcissa repeated, starring down at her boyfriend, who had tumbled to the floor. He scrambled to his feet, looking at her worriedly.

"Okay, I-I lied. I've been lying since my first year here. I'm not a pureblood, but in my defense, I can't be the only one. No Slytherin wants to admit that-"

"Oh Hell," Narcissa said.

She was shaking her head violently, as though rattling her brain would make the information less true. She was pacing back and forth before Severus, who hesitantly went on: "My Father never went to Durmstrange, because he isn't a wizard at all. He's just a man, a quite horrible one, actually, who knocked up my mum… and then her family disowned her… she was a 6th year."

She would stop pacing for periods at a time, look at him, and then start pacing again. She seemed absolutely crazy, like a madwoman. Severus knew not what to do, he had expected Narcissa to be mad but _this_ was beyond strange.

"You idiot!" she spat, "You've ruined everything!"

"What difference does it make?" Severus cried, very offended. He was hit by a quick rush of guilt. _This must be how Lily felt when I insulted her bloodlines_, he thought.

Narcissa shoved him angrily in the shoulder as she yelled, "It makes a world of difference!" The anger must have subsided, for in a moment she was crying. She sobbed fiercely, so that Severus could hardly make out her words. "That's it," she whined, "I'm going to have to marry him."

"Malfoy?" he asked.

"Yes, Malfoy!" she cried. "Once it gets out that you're a half-blood, and a mudblood-loving one none the less, oh I'm doomed! My parents will never permit a marriage now!"

"_A marriage?" _Severus gaped at her. "You wanted to marry me?"

"Yes, you idiot!" She cried, walking in nervous circles on the dungeon floor. The doors creaked open slowly. Another Slytherin stood in the doorway, perhaps hoping to come into his own dormitory. Narcissa thought otherwise, and barked at him until he left.

"Why me?" Severus asked. Narcissa had everything, yet she wanted _him._ "Do you- do you love me?"

"No!" she said, "I mean, I do. But that's not why I want to be your wife."

They stared at each other, black meeting blue, like an oil spill in the ocean. (**BP) **Severus' mind worked, all the information came together at once, and he finally understood.

"You've been using me," he said beneath his breath. "You're using me to get out of marrying Malfoy. You thought you'd make me an acceptable husband if you… if you changed me. So you did. You never wanted me to be with Lily at all."  
Neither moved. Severus heard his heart pounding and felt his mind reeling. He wanted Narcissa to tell him that he was mistaken, but he knew that it'd be a lie if she did.

"Don't be mad, please. It would have been best for the both of us, I swear. Look at you, you're happy and popular and you would have been rich with me!" Her explanations meant nothing. He was hardly listening; he was focusing on keeping all emotions off his face.

In as cool a voice as possible, he sneered, "I was happier with her then I'd ever be with you."

Narcissa frowned and couldn't help but cry, "Too bad she doesn't care about you."

"Yes," said Severus, turning his back to her and walking toward the door. "It appears that nobody does."

His hand reached out for the doorknob when she said, "But I do now. Please, I love you. You're my best friend."

"You deceived me," he stated, looking at his pale hand enclose around the doorknob.

"But you were going to do the same thing to Sirius, don't you remember?" She yelled, and then realized her mistake.

Severus spun around in an instant, and stared at her with eye filled with rage and hatred. "That's different! Sirius has done nothing but make my life Hell, and all I ever did was try to help you. That's another thing, I was doing it for the good of a friend, and you're doing it for the good of no one but yourself."

"Severus, please," but it was too late, he had left the room.

Severus made his way to the astronomy tower. His body ached every where, he couldn't keep himself from shaking. _No one_, he thought, _I have no one. _

Severus didn't understand why everyone in his life loved to hurt him. He knew he was hideous and selfish, but selfish people still had friends, just look at Potter! Ugly people still had family! He didn't know why he was so prone to loneliness.

_It's because you're a mistake, _a voice in his head reminded him, but it wasn't his voice, it was Lily's.

Lily had also said that people were bound to hurt each other. He decided that nothing could be truer. He couldn't recall anyone who he knew well who hadn't hurt him, abandoned him, or used him.

Severus didn't care how strong he had become over the summer, he felt tiny as he walked up the stairs. Finally, he reached the towers. To his extreme annoyance, he saw Potter and his gang studying the stars for Divination.

Severus tried to get away unseen, but Sirius yelled, "Look who it is!"

"Snivvy!" chimed Peter.

Severus didn't want to talk to them, but then again, he had to take his anger out on somebody.

"A rat like you has no right to call me anything, Pettigrew," he growled.

"Did you hear that, Peter, you're a rat!" said Sirius, and the two boys and James burst into laughter.

Remus tried to pull their attention back to the books, "C'mon guys, we've got work to do!"

James stood up then, wand outstretched. "Watch it, Snape. He may be a rat, but at least he isn't a greasy snake of a man."

"Drop it," Remus whispered.

"No!" said James, "he made Lily cry again today!"

"Yes," said Severus. His voice was strikingly fierce; it was enough to send chills down a Dementor's spine. He walked around the boys to the tower walls and said, "I made Lily cry. You may tell her that I'm sorry for everything- and that I wish I wasn't a Hungarian Horntial."

The four Gryffindors stared at him as he backed toward the edge.

Finally, James asked, "Why don't you tell her yourself?"

Severus said nothing; he only eyed his enemy with as much loathing as he always had. James held his glare, and Sirius nodded in encouragement, and Remus tugged worriedly as his friend's robes, and Peter swept his tongue across his large front teeth. And Severus? He stepped onto the ledge and fell backward.


	23. Chapter 23

He could hear faint gasps and yells coming from the Gryffindors on the tower, but all noise was soon overpowered by the sound of air rushing past him. He could see the ground, dark and vast, and getting closer and closer to him. He was overwhelmed with panic. He forced his hand to keep from shaking long enough to search through his robes and grab his wand. When he found his voice, he yelled "Leviousa Corpes!" but it wasn't enough. He tried again, "LEVIOUSA CORPES!"

He felt his stomach drop, and then his entire body lost all its weight. It was like diving into a pool, except with clear vision and a wonderful view. He could see all of Hogsmead, the Forbidden Forest, and the shimmering blue lake. He could even spot the giant squid, a reddish smudge, floating carelessly in the water.

Hidden by nightfall, Severus flapped his arms like a huge bat and flew to the Malfoy Manor.

Remus, James, Sirius, and Peter all ran to the ledge in panic. They peered over the wall, searching the darkness and yelling, "Snape? SNAPE!"

Finally, James shouted, "Someone get Dumbledore!" Sirius and Peter sprinted away. Remus stood frozen, still looking over the edge. James came up beside him. "Remus, we've got to tell the professors!"

"Was it worth it?" Remus said beneath his breath, and then louder, he yelled, "Was teasing and tormenting him worth the amusement? Because if he's dead then it's _our_ bloody FAULT!"

James didn't know what to say, so he ran from the tower, calling for help at the top of his lungs.

It wasn't long before the whole school was buzzing. Even the first years had heard the news: an upper-gradesmen from the Slytherin house had attempted suicide by jumping from the Astronomy Tower. Only professors were allowed in the courtyard to search for the missing body.

Mary had told Lily the news in the Gryffindor common room.

"J-jumped?" was all Lily managed to say before she collapsed onto the ground and cried uncontrollably. Mary led her friend to their dormitory, were she could sob and mourn in private. "It's my fault! We hand another fight, now he's dead, because of me!"

"You don't know that he's dead. They'll find him," Mary said unconvincingly, "It'll be okay."

But Lily didn't think it'd be okay. Her mind swam with terrible thoughts of Severus, the best friend she'd ever had, falling to his death and crumbling on the hard floor- ending a horrible life in a horrible way.

"I gave up on him," she said, "I gave up on him before he even did anything wrong."

"Lily…" Mary began.

"He's got so many enemies and so little people who are there for him," she rambled, "and I just left him because…" She cried on, not caring about who saw or heard, only about the friend that she had lost.

Narcissa, across the castle, was doing quite the same. She sat amongst a group of supporters, they all mourned together.

"I'm _so_ sorry," someone would say.

"I hope he's okay," would say another. Every Slytherin cried for their notorious classmate. The dungeons were lit by nothing but candles.

Suddnely, Regulus came running in. "Narcissa!" he barked. "I need to talk to you in private."

"I already know the sad news, Reg," she said, softly.

"_Please, _Narcissa, we need to talk alone," something in his voice inclinded her to get up and fallow him out of the dungeons. As soon as they were out of earshot, Narcissa helplessly vented all that had happened between her and Severus.

"I'm the reason he fell," she said, tears streaking her cheeks, "I'm the reason he killed himself."

"_Listen to me_!" he creid, "I don't think he killed himself... I- I don't think he fell."

"Not fall?"

"No," said Reg, "Not falling- _flying._"

Severus arrived at the Malfoy Manor. A house elf led him through the abnormally large and formal house until he reacehd Lucius' office. Lucius welcomed him in a surprisingly friendly way. He wore long emerald green robes. His hair, so blonde that is was nearly white, was gelled slickly back. His skin was strangly light, as though he could have been half vampire. He smiled, though there was little warmth behind it.

"Snape? Come in, come in."

Severus walked hesitantly into the office. Everything was oak wood and twice the size as is need be- huge desk, huge globe, and a collection of books too large for any man to read in a life time.

"Evening, Malfoy," he said.

"To what do i owe this pleasure?" asked Lucius, standing up to meet Severus at enterance.

"I've made up my mind, Malfoy. You've been presuading me to join the Dark Lord's forces for years, correct?"

"Yes," said Lucius slowly, through gritted teeth, "you'd make the best addition to the cause, but that mudblood girlfriend of your always stopped you." Severus held back a flinch and nodded. Lucius went on, "But now you're with someone new, that pretty little Black. Right?'

"No, actually, I'm not anymore. I know you're interested in her, but mark my words, it'll bring you nothing but disgrace and displeasure to fall in line with her," said Severus. "Swear to me you never will."

Lucius considered this for a moment. Then, deciding that it'd be a good idea to stay in Severus' favor at this time, said, "Alright. I swear to you, Snape, that I will not presue the Black. Now, can we go back to the subject prior?" His blue eyes gleamed.

Though it still angered him to even think of Narcissa, Severus was satisfyed at keeping his word. She would not marry Malfoy.

"Okay, I'll serve the Dark Lord so long as you don't marry Narcissa," said Severus. The words tasted vile and right in his mouth- like sugar coated poison.

Lucias smiled in a more genuine way, "I can request a meeting with him tonight."

Narcissa's head buzzed. He had _faked_ his own death? She was furious, and relieved, and impressed all at the same time.

"So he isn't dead," she whispered to Regulus, "So, where would he go?"

"His house?" Reg suggested. Narcissa decided that that was highly unlikely, but agreed that is should be the first place they should look.

"But... how do we get there?" he asked.

"We'll fly to Hogsmead, maybe I can get Bella to come and appareate us home..."

With all the commotion, no one noticed the two dissapear from the made it all the way to Hogsmead when Narcissa started hitting her head in frustration. "Why didn't I think of that before?" she cried.

"Think of what?" Regulus asked.

"I gave Severus a pair of shoes and one of them was a portkey... If he's wearing them then we have what we need to find him!" she exclaimed.

"Well," said Regulus, "where is the other half of the portkey?"

Narcissa gulped, "back at the castle..."

It wasn't very difficult to get out of Hogwarts, but getting in? That was an entirly different matter.

Narcissa and Regulus rounded the castle several times, avoiding the courtyard where all the professors where uselessly searching for the body of a student. They were nearly spotted when Slughorn wondered out near the Forbidden Forest after hearing the sound of rustleing leaves. Nervously, they ran until the were far behind the Whopping Willow.

"This is useless!" Regulus shouted, "We'll never get in without going through the front entrance, and week never get through there without being seen by the professors."

"And if we're seen," Narcissa began.

"Then we get in trouble," Regulus concluded.

The two stared at eachtoher, long enough for Regulus to note the simmilarities in their faces. Finally, Narcissa said, "Well, we'll just have get in trouble, then. We need to find Severus."

Professor McGonagal was deffidently not pleased to find that the two Slytherins had left the castle. In a normal occasion, this'd call for multiple detentions and many lost house points. But even McGonagal felt pity for the young girl who was crying... "I just wanted to find him. H-he's my boyfriend and I couldn't h-help but-but look..."

"Okay, you two, get back to your dormitories immediatly. Ten points from Slytherin for your disobideance..." Her voice softened, "but you should know that we're doing our best to find your friend. No one can help him more then the staff here at Hogwarts."

Hidding a smile beneath her bloned locks, Narcissa walked off. Regulus was close behind.


	24. Chapter 24

Severus sat in one of Malfoy's many spare rooms. There were so many windows in this house, he noted. He considered counting them all, and then he remembered that that would be a fucking waste of time. Inhaling slowly, he poured some rat's hair into his couldron. It sizzled, bubbled, and then the brew went flat.

"Having fun?" someone asked. Lucius was at the doorway. With little hesitation, he came in. "Tell me, Snape, why you've really chosen to join us instead of staying at school? It can't _really_ be for that Narcissa girl. Can it? Tell me, Snape. It'll stay between us, I swear it."

Severus, who had been feeling numb for quite some time now, decided to answer the question dispite his better judgement. He carefully took two strands of rat fur in his steady hands. One peice was white, the other black. Slowly, he raised them to eye level.

"Imagine I'm in tranfigurations class, and I try, and try, and try to turn this blonde strand of hair into a full rat, but I don't succeed," He raised the darker strand higher, "but with this hair, I can create a thousand black rats. That's how I feel, Malfoy."

Lucius nodded, "That's a very poetic way of putting it."

"I suppose it is," Severus said, loosening his grip enough for both the strands of rat fur to fall from his fingertips.

"So you don't care at all about the Black?" he asked.

"No, I don't," Severus replied, "just don't pursue her, for you're own good."

The day went on in what felt like slow-motion. The hands on all the clocks, near all the windows, moved slowly until morning turned to afternoon. Then, at the time he promised, Voldemort arrived at the Malfoy Manor.

He was cloacked in black robes, nothing fancy, nothing special. However, what he lacked in fashion, he made up for in beauty. For even Severus, who scarcly noticed such things, was taken back by the mysterious handsomeness in the mans face. He gleemed with something that was more then grace, almost as though he had a secret that he was glad not to tell. The pleasantness in his expression was scare, and although he was attractive and intriuging, Severus was caught between admiration and plain fear.

"My Lord," said Lucius, bowing his head (Severus did the same), "I am extremely grateful for receiving you today, for who I have to intruduce is a very fine wizard indeed."

"That'll do, Malfoy," said Voldemort in a voice that was shrill and assertive. "Snape?"

"Yes, My Lord," he said, impressed by the calmness in his own tone.

"Let us speak alone." Voldemort held out an arm, pale and strong. Severus took hold of it, and together they apperated.

At first, the only thing Severus noticed about his new location was that there were many trees. He thought himself to be in a forest or at a mountain side, but he heard faint giggles and the sound of feet running against sand. He turned to see a small park, not too far away. Two kids, a young girl and young boy, played there happily. They looked no older than ten and no younger then seven. Severus didn't consider this a 'private' location, but figured they were far away enough to not be over heard.

"I do not usually allow such young wizards to join in my ranks. After all, what experiance does a boy like you have?" asked Voldemort, but it was not the kind of question that one is meant to answer. "Yet, Malfoy tells me that you are an exceptionally talented wizard. He claims that you know more dark curses then half the school combined. He tells me that you are the best potion maker he has ever seen."

Severus, who was focused on meeting the eyes of the intimadating wizard, said, "Malfoy is very kind."

"Perhasp he is..." Voldemort whispered, "But is he honest?"

"I believe so," Severus nervously replied.

"But you're not," he hissed. "I know 'Snape' to be a muggle last name."

"That is true, My Lord," Severus could look him in the eyes no longer. He stared at the leaf-covered floor.

"Yet you hide the fact that you are not a Pureblood," Voldemort said, in a voice so calm that it was more frightening than a shout.

"I am ashamed, My Lord."

"What can you do to make me ignore this little obscurity?" he asked.

Severus inhaled and raised his head, only to meet Voldemort's gread-filled eyes. "I can brew anything. I can create new curses. I can do legimancy and occumency. I can fly without a broom-"

"Fly without a broom?" Voldemort mused, "I havn't come across a spell like that before, and there are very few spells I've yet to have read about."

"May I demonstrate, My Lord?"

He nodded slowly. Severus jumped up and grabbed a heavey tree branch. Using his strong arms, he pulled himself upwar and onto the tree. He climed as gracefully as possible until the branches got too weak to support his weight. He said the curse and flew about for a few short minutes. Then he landed before Voldemort and bowed his head again.

Voldemort looked past the young wizard. Severus fallowed his gaze and found that he had caught the attention of the two young kids. "Tis, tis, tis. Seems like we have some spectators."

Severus could feel his pulse pounding, his veins constricted, _he had done magic in front of muggles. _

Voldemort raised his wand up high, catching Severus by surprise. He hissed, "At least they got a show on their death beds."

"Wait!" said Severus. The words had flown from his mouth before he could think to silence them. In a voice that he hoped sounded calm, he went on to say, "They are only children, My Lord. No one will believe a word they say." Severus could see the two kids. They stared at the strange men in cloaks, and wondered if they had really seen one of them fly. He imagined how thrilled they'd be at the idea of magic. He thought of how easy it was for them to believe in such a thing.

"Those children know our secret, Snape," Voldemort said with a chuckle.

"Surely you could modefy their memories, and make them believe that they hadn't seen-"

Green light burst from the end of Voldemort's wand, and the boy fell to the ground in an instant. Severus starred, horrified but silent. He watched as the little girl dove to the ground and shoock his shoulders, crying for him to wake up.

And Severus was struck by a memory...

He couldn't have been much older then the boy Voldemort had just killed, and it was a summer day, a very, very hot summer day. His father had come home from the pub, drunk and destructive, and Severus' first idea was to run away. So he slipped on his sandals and ran out the door. He wanted to run as far as his short legs would take him, but instead he decided to run to the neighborhood park. _Maybe_, he had thought with a small smirk, _that pretty red-head girl will be there again. _

To his bitter disapointment, there was no one at the park. By then, his lungs ached and his legs shook from the excercise. His small forehead was drenched with sweat. As Severus' eager eyes searched for her, his eye lids felt heavey. Before he knew what to think, he had fallen to the floor.

He opened his eyes what felt like hours later. As soon as he inhaled a sharp, short breath, he realized that he was being watched closely by Lily, the beautiful witch he had discovered. He looked next at the woman beside her, an older lady with a slight resembalence. He knew little of what had happened, but his heart fluttered because he had never been so close to Lily before.

The two bombarded him with questions, which he answered honestly. Then he went back to their house and made a wonderful new friend.

"You take care of the next one," Voldemort said, a shot of humur clouding his tone.

Severus' throat felt try. His arm felt barely strong enough to raise his wand. The girl in the distance had stood up, looking around in confusion. He knew the curse, had the wand, the target, yet he felt hesitant. He knew that killing was in the job discription, but he had expected to be shooting curses at the likes of Potter and Black, not at young muggles who reminded him too much of Lily.

He looked at the tip of his wand, than at the girl once more. He closed his eyes, but still saw the flash of green. He regained site just in time to see the child tumble over. Breath caught in his chest. He turned to Voldemort; he was lowering his own wand, mercilessly, he said, "too slow."

Severus could hardly believe that he had just witnessed Vlodemort kill two innocent muggles, but in a second, he had sworn beneath his breath for not doing the curse himself. _This is what you want_, he reminded himself, _This is power, this is statisfaction. _He gulped.

"Sorry I hesitated, My Lord," he managed.

"So young," Voldemort cued, "Being a part of this world takes more than brains, Snape, it takes much more. That is not to say that I'm not impressed with your abilities."

He gulped again.

"Come seek me out once you have finished your time at Hogwarts."

Severus nodded. Voldemort vanished with a pop, leaving the other wizard standing in there silently. He looked at the lumps in the distance that were once living, breathing children. He felt dumb-struck. _What had he expected? _Tears stung his eyes, but he blinked them away. He had never felt so unsure of himself. He couldn't go back to Hogwarts and he couldn't go home. Malfoy wouldn't welcome him if he didn't have the dark mark, and he didn't have any other friends to turn to.

Just when he felt completly useless, there was a pulse in his foot strong enough to make him fall over. He realized it had come from his shoe, his _portkey _shoe. Narcissa and Regulus stood before him.

He stood up immediatly, walking, half barefoot, away from them. All of his veins pulsd with anger and frustration. The last thing he wanted was for Narcissa to say, "Severus! Please, wait!" He walked on, only stopping when he came too close to the dead bodies for comfort. Narcissa gasphed, "Did _you_ do that?" she cried.

"no," he answered, "That's the work of He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named."

Narcissa struggled for words. "So, you're a Death Eater, then?"

He faced her. Her expression was a mix of horror and sorrow. He hair fell flat and there were traces of tears in her eyes. "All you need to conrcern yourself with is this:" he told her slowly, "Malfoy will never purpose to you. End of deal."

There was no time for him to escape, she had dove at him so quickly. Her arms rapped around him in a suffucating hug. Her body shook. Through her sobs, Severus could make out the words "I'm so sorry."

"Okay, okay," Severus growled.

"Don't be mad at me," she pleaded.

"Not be mad?" He pushed her lightly away. "How can you expect me to not be mad!"

Tears rolled down her cheeks; she made no attempts to hide them. "Because, how can you expect Lily to forgive you when you won't even forgive me?"

"That's different!" he roared, kicking at the grass, "how dare you compare...I... What you did to me, I would never do to Lily!" 

"But you must admit that the situations are awfully similar," she said with a pout.

"No," he said, "They are not." But he couldn't get the idea out of his head. He had a bizzare mental image of a series of doors. Lily was behind a door labled 'Narcissa', but he couldn't get to Lily because the door was locked. _Damn it, _he thought, _forgiveness is the key. _He thought for a second about what Lucius had said about him being so poetic, and chuckled.

"Why are you laughing?" she asked.

"I- I don't know," he said, turning his back to her. "Fine, I forgive you."

"You do?" she asked, stepping around him and back into site.

"Isn't that what you wanted?" he growled.

"Yeah, but i never expected it! After all the crap I pulled!"

"Do you want me to change my mind?" he asked, with just a hint of playfullenss.

"No!" she replied, "Just thank you so much. And, about Lily..."

"Yes?" he said eagerly.

A small smile crept onto Narcissa's lips. She said, "She might have told you she doesn't care about you anymore, but the fact that she hasn't stopped crying since you left says otherwise. The entire school knows that there is no one more devasted then her..."

He rushed back toward the trees. Narcissa called behind him, "she's in her dormitory!" Severus got to a large oak and climbed up it. To Regulus, who was waiting below, he called, "Oh, by the way, Reg, congrats on making the Quiditch team!"

He got to the top branches, jumped, and flew away.


	25. Chapter 25

"Don't go in there," Mary told Alice beneath her breath. She had been coming out of their dormitory, the room Alice was hoping to enter. "Lily wants to be alone. The poor thing is still crying her eyes out." Alice nodded, seemingly understanding that Lily needed privacy.

Behind the door, the young witch was curled into a ball. She found that this was the best way to keep herself from falling apart. Tears spilled from her eyes, down her cheeks, and onto her tucked knees. Three emotions consumed her- loss, fear, and regret.

The fear was for Severus, of course, wether he was near or far, safe or in danger, dead or alive. She worried for him. She wanted more then anything to protect him like she had as a child. _No, Tuney. You can't pick on Sev; he's my friend. _The memories haunted her, made her shake with with violent sobs. What was worse was imagining all of the horrible things that might have happened to him. What if the fall had carried him into the Forbidden Forest? Could he have cursed himself invisible before hitting the ground? Could he have been running away from James, from Sirius, from her?

Loss- the thought of him being gone was like thinking of missing an organ. Something that was apart of her just wasn't there, and she couldn't function without it. She scoffed at the thought of not caring about him. _Don't you see, Lily? _she thought nervously as she cried, _Don't you see how much you care? _

And regret was the worse of all. If he had killed himself it was because she hadn't been there to stop him. If he had run away it was because she had not given him reason to stay. The more she attempted to pretend that it wasn't her fault, the more she thaught the contrary. She told herself that he wasn't dependent on her. She told herself that she hadn't done anything wrong. But in the end, her mind was screaming that she had caused him too much pain.

There were bliss moments when distractions would come along and cause Lily temporary relief from her thoughts and sorrows. Like when her eyes were fixed on a fly buzzing around the room. It became something of a game, tracking the insect with her eyes. She wouldn't let it out of her site. It landed on the window still, the wall, and even her arm. When it resided on her body, she could have easily swated it away. Instead, she examined it. It was small, and gray, and ugly, and the body never went more then two seconds without twitching. It was so small and so pathetic. It would die in a day! It was only created to feed spiders... What a pitiful existance, she thought. But then she figured that maybe, if she were a fly, she'd see him differently. Maybe if she were a bug, then deep down in her little-bug soul, she'd find him beautiful. She figured that even the simpliest, ugliest creatures were appreciated by somebody.

A noise from the widow made her little friend fly away. It sounded like a knock. Annoyed, she turned to see what had disturbed her trail of thought. Then her heart stopped when she saw a man outside her window.

Gasphing and crying, she opened the window and let Severus inside. He said not a word before Lily flung herself at him, burying her face in his neck and strangling him with a hug. His arms went around her too, steading her quivers. "Severus, oh Merlin, are you alright?" She pulled herself away from him long enough to check for injuries. She scanned his face. His dark eyes stared at her tiredly and contently.

"I'm fine, Lily," he said simply. She waited for him to go on, but no words came.

Finally, she said, "but when you fell..."

"I didn't fall," he cut in, "I know this curse that allows me to fly."

"You can _fly_?" She asked. She hadn't completly let him go yet. Her arms still hung around his shoulders and her hands mindlessly ran through his hair, knotting the black strands around her fingers.

"Yes, well, that's how I got up her," he replied.

She looked quickly at the window. She hadn't even noticed that he had come in in such an impossible way. "Sev," she said, "I'm so glad you're okay." Adreniline urged her to hug him again. "I was so worried," she said, kissing his jaw carlessly, "I'm sorry about being mad. I'm sorry about saying I don't care about you. I do, I do."

"I can see that," he said. She sensed the smile in his tone.

"But why'd you.." she began, letting the question finish itself. Parting from him, and seeing the sadness on his face, she said, "Tell me everything, Severus. I won't judge you, I swear it."

After taking a tantetnizingly slow breath, he said "I left to seek out Lucias Malfoy... to become a Death Eater."

Silence fallowed this statement. Lily, who was itching to snatch his arm and examine his rist, didn't know what to say. So she nodded quickly. His arms around her waitst tensed, but he went on."That's what I wanted. It's what I've wanted for a long time."

"Why?" she asked. She regreted this immediatly. To tell her why might mean sharing his feelings, which she knew Severus hated to do.

She was in awe when he replied, "Dark Magic gives a wizard such a sense of... of power, of controll. It makes one forget that their small and weak and useless." He looked frustrated. "I don't expect you to understand." After looking her in the eyes for a moment, he brightened a bit and said, "When I told you that you were magical, how did you feel?"

Lily couldn't quite fallow him, but replied anyways, "I- I felt surprised, and anxious, and special."

"That's it," he said, "you felt special. Well, that's what being a Death Eater is suppose to be like, because you get to contribute to something much greater and more powerful then everyone else."

"But Sev-"

"Let me finish," he said, softly. It was almost as though being so honest caused him physical discomfort, and Lily wanted to hug him more for the effort, but she did nothing but stay queit and let him continue."I wanted that for a long time, you were right, but then, when you seperated yourself from me because of it ... I needed you back. So I tried to change, and Narcissa was suppose to help me, and you were suppose to notice! and you didn't. and she didn't. Nothing went the way I had invisioned it, so- so I went back to my original aspirations, but even that wasn't right. So now I'm here, trying something that I've never tried before, which is just being honest with you."

Tears had returned to Lily's eyes now. She said, "I guess I need to be honest with you too. I was always trying to steer you in the right direction. I never saw what you saw in the Dark Arts! But some where along the line I figured that there was nothing I could do to make you see things my way, so I stopped trying. I gave up and- and now I wish i hadn't." She sobbed, "I guess now its too late."

"What? No!" he cried, "I'm not a Death Eater yet." She looked at him quizically and he told her the tale of his encounter with Voldemort.

"That's horrible," she gasped. "Did you just leave them there?"

"No," answered Severus, "I left the bodies with Narcissa."

"And you annd Narcissa are...?" she asked. He smiled a bit with one side of his mouth and replied, "No longer together, but on decent terms."

"And me?" She asked.

Severus seemed puzzeled. His eyes looked away from hers hurridly, and he answered, "What do you mean?"

"Well," she said, drawing out the word until his eyes made contact once more, "Are we friends again?"

"Oh, of course," he answered quickly. With a warm smile, he added, "For forever."

She tightened her hold on him once more, wetting the robes on his shoulder with tears. He hugged her back, strongly, and it didn't go without notice that his body was so well muscled. Mostly, she enjoyed his warmth, his never-changing scent, and complete familarnes. But there was also something, in the softness of him skin or the intamancy of his embrace, that had gone unnoticed before. Something was different.

"Lily, I..." Severus began, before a timid knock on the door interrupted him.

"Must be one of the girls," said Lily, "I've shut them out all day."

"Well," said Severus, retreating toward the window, "I'll be seeing you in 1-3 months?"

"Months?" she asked.

"However long my suspention will last me!" He said.

Beaming at him, she advised him to tell Dumbledore the truth.

"Well," he said, "the thing is I've done an awful lot of that recently, and it's getting a bit tiresome." She watched him fly away gracefully, as though he'd been born a night owl.


	26. Chapter 26

Later that year...

There were only a few casual occasions that could bring all of the students at Hogwarts together to cheer, yell, laugh, and sometimes even cry. There was only one day that got everyone sporting their house colors and hollaring until their voices got horse. This, naturally, was the day the top quiditch teams competed for the title of house champions.

After Slytherin's cruel defeat of Hufflepuff and narrow win against Ravenclaw, Severus found himself in his final game of the year- Slytherin vrs Gryffindor. Well actually, he found himself on the feild, waiting for those agonizingly slow few minutes before the game to pass. Regulus had walked near Severus on his way to his position. "Good luck," Reg whispher. "Kick Potter's ass."

Severus smiled depite his nervse. "Good luck to you too." Regulus had made the team again this year. Many argued that he was even better at Chaser than any other position. Luckily, the Slytherins also found Severus to be a talented Seeker and a good adition to the team. Although McGonagal did warn him that he wasn't allowed to use his flying curse unless it were an emergency.

Mounting his broom, he stared across the feild at his opponents. Potter was running his hands through his hair, a bit nervously. Though James and his crew hadn't messed with him in a while, and Remus was actually being quite friendly, Severus hoped a bulger would knock James off his broom. Smiling wickedly, he prepared to take flight.

Out in the stands, Lily was also awaiting the beginning of the match.

"Lily!" said Mary, who had swated her way through several groups of first years, "What in Merlin's Beard are you wearing!"

Lily rolled her eyes, having expected this. Mary sat down beside her, gaping at Lily's outfit. She had come to the match wearing both her own gold scarf and Severus' green and black one. "I can't believe you!" Mary cried.

"What? I want both teams to play well," said Lily, her cheeks warming with a blush. Mary eyed her suspicously. Before either of the witches could say much more, Alice came tumbling over. With each step, someone in the stands got their foot stomped on. "Sorry.. my bad," Alice mumbled.

"Have a nice snog with Longbottom before the game?" Mary asked.

Alice responded with, "Lily! What the Hell are you wearing a Syltherin scarf for?"

"Leave me alone, you guys!" Lily whined, "my best friends on that team, I'm allowed to cheer for both."

The girl's conversation was cut short when the whistle blew and all attention was turned to the game.

Severus shot into the air, rising high enough to see the whole feild at once. His attention was caught immediatly by the Gryffindor chaser who had won the quaffle. He blinked several times. _Focuse_, he thought, _on the snitch. _He bit down on his lower lip hard enough to taste blood as he flew around the feild. He searched vigerously, occasionaly confusing a gold braclet or Gyrffindor palm-palm for the snitch.

There was an out burst of cheers, and Severus could hear the announcer excliame, "Sandra Kate scores for Gyrffindor!"

"Dammit!" Narcissa spat as she sat amongst her class mates. All of them were moaning in dislike and annoyance. Narcissa squinted her eyes and searched for Severus. 'C'mon," she whispered beneath her breath. She caught site of him just as he burst forward. "He see's it!" she cried, "Severus found the snitch!"

The announcer echoed her words, "Severus Snape has found the golden snitch. James Potter seems to be right at his heals!"

Severus felt, rather than saw, Potter coming up behind him. His heart pounded in his throat as he tried to keep the snitch in site.

"Regulus Black intercepts the quaffle for Slytherin and- oh! He's been hit by a nasty bulger. Sandra Kate has got the quaffle again and ANOTHER TEN POINTS

FOR GRYFFINDOR!"

Severus looked over in time to see them score again. When he looked forward he realized that the snitch was no longer in front of him. Cursing, he spun around and fallowed James in the other direction. He flew as hard as he could, but James was awfully fast. In horror, he saw the wizard in front of him reach forward for the snitch. Severus sped up enough to knock James off course.

"Hey!" James yelled, clinging to his broom. Severus ignored him and tryed to fallow the snitch and then two things happened at once; the announcer yelled that Slytherin scored and James nearly knocked Severus off his broom. He regained his balance, but by then both James and the snitch were gone.

So he flew around the feild, not even closing his eyes to blink. His heart racing and mind reeling.

The game went on. Regulus scored several times and so did the other chasers. Slytherin could get the lead, but not keep it. The story was the same for their opponents. The sun kept the teams sweating and the exitiment kept the audiance attentive. Spectators would cheer with each point awarded, and they would boo when a person got knocked off their brooms.

Severus was nearly hit by a bulger once.

"Did you see that, Lily?" Mary asked when it happened. "If Severus falls from the game, would you take off that scarf?"

"I think it's sweet," said Alice simply. "I'd do that for my boyfriend if he were in a different house."

"He isn't my _boy_friend!" Lily said stuburnly. "Would you two just quit it already?"

As Lily said that, Severus found the snitch.

It was right there, right infront of him! Its golden estirior gleamed and its wings twitched feircly. He leaned forward and stretched his arm hard enough for it to nearly dislocate his shoulder. His eyes teared from the speed. The moment he blinked to clear his vision was the moment he felt the cool, little ball slip into his grasp.

"SNAPE HAS GOT THE SNITCH. AND IT'S A WIN FOR SLYTHERIN."

Severus jumped from his broom, using the flying curse to soar to the ground. His feet hit the floor, and he was smiling more brilliantly then anyone was use to seeing. His team crashed around him, cheering as loudly as the crowd. Regulus jumped at him for a hug, and Seveurs could see that his pretty face was swelling where the bulger had hit him. So many voices congratulated him at once that they all sort of bleneded together. He was tired but his body pulsed with happiness.

Slytherins came down on onto the feild, shouting and jumping in triumph. Severus was surprised when James appeared in front of him. "Erm, Snape? Good game."

Severus did nothing but scoff and say, "Sorry I can't say the same for you, Potter." The next second, he was nearly knock off balance when Narcissa came to hug him.

"Great job! You did fanstastic." He squezed her breifly, not forgeting that she was the first girl he had ever felt comfortable hugging.

"I'll meet you later in the common room?" she said. Severus nodded, promising to spend time with her and Regulus before the day was through. He watched her walk awake. Severus often wondered how he had remained friends with the devil after she nearly ripped his world apart, but he figured that his life had been sown back together, and the seams were much stronger then before.

And he stood on that feild, thanking every person who offered him a 'good job', and gladly excepting all the glares from Gyrffindor supports, until Lily walked onto the grass. She drew near him slowly, smiling in the same beautiful way that she always had. Severus was glad to see his scarf still hung around her neck.

Not many men were capable of completly abandoning their darkest hopes and desires, totally rewiring their minds, and getting past their biggest faults. In other words, not every one could change. _But_, Severus thought, as a small grin crept it's way across his face, _not many men have a person completely worth changing for. _

She half jogged-half skipped her way to him. She hugged him tightly around his neck. "Great job, Sev! My friends were getting so upset becuase I kept cheering for you!" Severus laughed as they parted. He became aware of how amazing she looked, with her hair loosely falling around her face and slightly sticking to her moist forehead. He feared that his own apperance might give her a sign that he needed a shower. This worried him until the moment she asked, "Want to take a walk near the lake?"

They walked side by side across the grounds. Each of them desired to be close, but feared unwanted contact. Lily remained in a frettful silence so long that Severus felt inclinded to ask, "What are you thinking about?"

They had reached the lake. The sun's refletion on the glassy surface was massive, rippled, and the color of honey. Lily looked across it, smiling at the scene. Finally, she answered, "I'm not thinking about anything, Sevbear."

His heart skipped a beat at those words. He replied, "Well okay, Lilyflower."

The two nervous laughter mixed together and then fell to silence.

"Sev?"

Severus turned his head, watching her instead of the water. "Yes?"

"Why did you stop calling me that?"

He tugged at the collar of his robes out of habbit. "What? Calling you Lilyflower? Well, I suppose that when we began school, I didn't want to give people the wrong idea about us."

"And what idea would that be?" She asked, turning her body to meet his eyes.

"Well, _you know,_" he mumbled, his vision to the floor.

"Have you ever thought that.. maybe we could be well-you-know together?"

The whole castle might have been dead silent, or on fire, or under attack by unfed hippogriffs, and Severus would not have noticed. His mind was only set on Lily. He had been waiting for months to confess his feelings for her after they reunited their freidnship, and had been waiting for years before that. But the moment was right then, and seconds ticked away like milleniums. Severus looked at his love at a lost of words, until she turned around with a blush. "Never mind, that was strange of me to stay."

"As a couple? Lily, I have pictured us like that for as long as I've known you," he managed, as he came forward, placing a shaking hand on her shoulder. Lightly, he spun her back around to meet his eyes again. "If I- if we were together, I promise I'd never seek comfort in the Dark Arts, or do anything else that could ever hurt you... I- I know I'm not much to offer."

Her hands cupped his pale face, and she pressed herself against him enough to feel his heart pounding vigerously in his chest. "You're plenty to offer."

She felt his rigid breathing on her mouth, smelt his pachment-like scent, and was so close to kissing him, when he suddenly paused. "Sev. what's wrong?" 

"Nothing's wrong, but, uh, Lily? I love you." Their lips crashed together, every sense of akwardness lost in a rush of lust and passion. Lily could taste, sense, and feel how long he had waited for this with his every move, when his lips parted hers, when his hand ran up her back... And Severus, he could tell what she wanted too, when she pulled him closer and flicked her toung at his. He couldn't get it out of his mind how she was incrediable soft and that she smelled incredibly sweet. He even found it hard to believe that this was _his _Lily, that after every one of his failures they had, some how, they ended up like this.

Her hands were running through his hair, tugging as the locks of soft black, trying to pull him away. Severus thought nothing of it, other then that it felt awfully nice. She tried to speak, but his kisses muffeled her words. "I'm sorry, what was that?" he breathed, tracing the skin of her jaw with his lips.

"I was trying to say that..." She gasphed at the pleasure of his mouth on her neck, and suddenly wished they were alone some place, "say that, I love you too."

Something went right that day. Severus and Lily became Hogwart's most discussed couple. Every witch and every wizard got in at the fun, making bets and mumering jokes as they waited for the two students from rival houses to split. But as Severus and Lily could tell you, love wears no house colors. That was one thing that they knew for certain. And the other? That a wizard could always change for the better when he's got a good reason to.

**Okay, that's the end. I really hope you guys like it! I know, i know, a bit mushy, but I think Sev deserves a happy ending in some fics. oh, and sorry Narcissa fans! wow, I can't believe I've been writing this fic for almost my entire freshman year! haha Well, Stay tuned, I promise that more Sev/Lily stuff to come! Thanks so much for your support, I honestly can't express how grateful I am for every reader. Please reveiw this last chapter, or the story as a whole. Love, Carissa. **


	27. SEQUEL :

After over 20,000 reads, pages of comments, and a number of requests, I've finally chosen to write a sequel to my popular fanfic Dancing with the Devil. Attached below is a summery of Dancing with the Devil as to refresh your memory and a peak at what comes next: Tango to Hell. (See my page to fallow the story)

Thanks guys, I know it's been a while but I really _really_ thank you for your support.

Summery of Dancing with the Devil:

Severus and Lily had been best friends since arriving at Hogwarts. But when he insults her bloodlines and begins to fall into the wrong crowd, their friendship comes to an abrupt end. Desperate and lonely, Severus strikes a deal with Slytherin's notorious and beautiful witch, Narcissa Black. He promises to use his cleverness to get her out of an arranged marriage with Lucius Malfoy if she helps him to win Lily back. He gets made over, becoming stronger and friendlier and more confident in himself (not an easy task) while also secretly working on an ancient spell that'll allow him to fly. But Narcissa has a plan of her own, and before he knows it, the two become the most power-couple of their house and possibly the school.

Lily notices the change in her former friend, and she misses him terribly. At the same time, she is trying to discourage the advances of the charming but arrogant James Potter.

In the end, Severus gets wise to Narcissa's real intentions: to make him into an acceptable wizard that her parents would approve of and marry him instead of Malfoy. She was misinformed of the fact that Severus is not a pureblood wizard, but by then, she had developed real feelings for him. Severus, however, can't stand the betrayal any longer.

In front of Potter and his gang, Severus jumps from the Astronomy Tower. Instant death, right? The staff and students of Hogwarts certainly think so. But Severus has secretly used the flying spell. And he's off to meet with Lucius and Lord Voldemort. In his unstable state, Severus thinks that the only way to continue on is to become a servant of the Dark Lord.

When Voldemort commands Severus to kill two young kids at a playground, Severus is reminded of him and Lily as children, and he is unable to do it. Voldemort simply states that Severus is too young and therefore unready to become a Death Eater.

Naricissa and her cousin, Regulus, are the only two who know of Severus' ability to fly. They seek him out and inform him that Lily has been absolutely mad with despair over his 'suicide'.

Severus returns to Lily immediately. They both confess the reasons for ending their friendship, and when Severus shows her that he has changed and no longer intends on becoming a Death Eater, they make up. By the end of the year, they are a happy couple.

Severus forgives Narcissa because, after all, he couldn't have gotten Lily back with out her.

And Severus proves that, despite the odds, a wizard can change for the better if he's got a good reason to.

Tango to Hell

Severus wrapped an arm around Lily's waist. "Don't be nervous about your parents," he said, working to keep his voice casual, when really, his palms were sweating and his mind reeling.

"I've never brought home a boy before," said Lily. In the immense heat of a summer day, he thought her voice was as desirable as a cool breeze. "But honestly, it's my sister I'm worried about."

Severus scoffed.

"You know how Petunia's engaged to that bloke, Vernon, right? I think he'll be in tonight too. Maybe that'll keep her from making a scene."

"Not likely," he said. "She's always had it out for me."

The two had been sitting side by side in the small park between their houses, discussing the night that would fallow. As kids, they had loved to play together at that spot. But this summer, it had become a place where they we free to chat and flirt and snog.

"Well, you know how she get's around magic," said Lily. She combed her fingers through her messy, red hair. Severus watched her greedily.

"It doesn't matter," he said. "No matter what we'll be together."

Lily looked him in the eye and smiled teasingly. "You think? For how long?"

"Always."


End file.
